Help With Your Mother's Rule

Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of the married vocation.

Ask Holly: This blog is composed of your questions. Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Helpers page and I will respond. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share, the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique Mother's Rule.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Life is Feeling Crammed...

Dear Holly,
I developed a rule a while ago, but I continue to feel like I am cramming too much into too little time and struggle to set clear boundaries to cut off activities. I have felt a strong call lately to "grow up" more and to model self-mastery to my children for an increase of peace in our home (as indicated by our 4 year old praying during family prayer on the way to Church this morning "Jesus please help Mommy never yell again ever ever!"
Could use some help and guidance :)

1 comment:

  1. It is true that having things feel crammed and tight and pressured can lead to stress, and to children's prayers such as these!

    First of all, it is important to schedule only those things that are essential and regular: prayer throughout the day, daily exercise, meal times and relevant other basics like laundry, family rosary, children's baths, etc.

    Secondly, in order to avoid the crammed feeling, try not to schedule every moment of your day, but leave chunks of time to accomplish the day's duties, to be decided upon each day, as possible.

    One way to visually represent this, is to divide your page into 30 minute chunks and write in ONLY what you are really scheduling - those basics - leaving lots of blank space which gives one, psychologically, the sense of freedom to choose each day.

    And I also itemize my times on my chart - like, lunch includes prep, lunch & clean up in the space, which 'proves' to me that I am doing a lot more than I give myself credit for!

    For your feeling of cramming too much in, this making visual space in your rule would probably help you. I've included my latest rule below for an example of this (note, because I am only planning my youngest child formally, I don't need and won't include here separate columns for many children, although the method remains the same.)

    For me, the chore chart details are on cupboard door; all my blank space in the following rule (about 8 hours worth) can be filled in with 'whatever' - in summer, it's garden work, walks, home projects; in winter, it's homeschool, etc; I don't write this in anymore, to give myself the sense of my freedom to choose everyday how I am called to live out my responsibilities. I schedule only those events that are constant and must be covered daily:

    7:00 up / tea / Breakfast /cats fed / dogs out

    7:30 Prayer – Personal & Mass Readings

    8:00 M-Fr Morning Cardio Exercise (V gets up- Dressed, Hygiene, Bedroom)

    8:30 Shower, MakeUp, Bedroom (V Wii Sports or Wii Dance)

    9:00 Chores & Plan Day (V chores)




    11:00 15 min Break




    12:30 Angelus, Lunch prep & eat (V Lunch)

    1:00 Clean Up & Chores (V Chores & Free)

    1:15 15 min Spiritual Reading – Catechism, Scripture or Other




    3:00 15 min Break




    4:30 Supper Prep & Chores

    5:00 - - (V pre-supper chores)

    5:30 Supper @ Dining Room Table

    6:00 Internet and Email



    7:30 M-Fr Evening TV News & Stretch/Weights

    8:00 10 min kids faith story time & Family Rosary




    10:00 Clean Up & Chores

    10:30 Bedtime / Exam of Conscience / Read / Pray

    11:00 Lights out