Help With Your Mother's Rule

Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of the married vocation.

Ask Holly: This blog is composed of your questions. Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Helpers page and I will respond. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share, the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique Mother's Rule.

Friday, September 16, 2011

A Realistic Approach to Holiness

Dear Holly,
I want to thank you so much for your wonderful book.  I have nearly completed reading it.  I have a young baby and my husband I have been married two years.  Right after getting married we moved across the country and I started graduate school.  I think learning the virtues of being a wife were put on hold as I attempted to adjust to all of the new changes we had, and again when our little one came.  Before marriage I had a strong spiritual life and growing up did not have a clear example of what a wife and mother ought to be according to the beautiful teachings our church.  A few months ago I felt very stuck and depressed.  I had your book on my shelf and finally started reading it and implementing it.  My greatest struggle came from not understanding this work as growing in virtue.  I am doing well now and working on maintaining the right order of priorities and overcoming sloth.  I am so impressed with your book because often when I read self-help books they don't quite match up to solid philosophical and theological thought.  I have not found that in your book.  I discovered I can implement the ideas in MROL, I connect personally to the concept because I have always practiced my faith seriously and I have a penchant towards organization.  I am not discouraged at my lack of skill or generosity because these are virtues for me to work on (not merely something I either am or am not).  Before I was married I wondered how a person can be married and still seek union with God (practical concerns!).  You describing your own path towards receiving that gift of contemplation brought light to the answer to that question.  Thank you so much for this book and God bless you!


  1. Thank you for your letter and for your insights. Two things struck me in reading this - first, that following a rule is about 'becoming' virtuous. So true! So often we think we have to be perfect all at once, which is such an impossibility, isn't it! Hence, why examining how things in nature grow - like our gardens - that there are stages and growth and time, and that it is our effort to begin with the baby steps that eventually produces holiness in our lives. As the adage goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step...

    Secondly, you touched on a topic dear to my own heart - being close to God in our married vocation. I would encourage you to read Lumen Gentium Ch 5 & 6 on the universal call to holiness for further meditation material for your prayer, and you may also want to look to see if there are any Opus Dei Centers in your area, as their entire charism is to encourage the lay person to be walking contemplatives in the heart of the world, a message exactly applicable to the realities of our own vocation. Their website also has a tremendously inspiring article on the vocation of Opus Dei, which in my personal opinion, is just the same as a vocation to live the Gospel fully, in intimate union with God, through our married vocations.

  2. Dear Holly,
    Not sure where to leave my note for you. I just wanted to tell you how much I loved your beautiful book. Praise God for working through you to speak to so many of us! He is very good.
    I am married six years, have three children, and I homeschool the oldest.
    I have struggled these six years to get my prayer life back in order. It just fell apart as I focused on my family more and more.
    My priorities are in order again and things are so much better.
    What I love about your book is that it kind of takes the best of FlyLady and the best of Dr. Laura Schlessinger (a favourite author of mine) and combines them under the umbrella of Catholicism, giving a profound depth of meaning to the housework and the sacrifices.
    I pray that God may bless and protect you and your family. You are doing important work.
    Andrea Black
    Elora, ON

  3. Thank you Andrea. I appreciate your support and comments, and am glad to hear it has helped establish a restoration of order in your family life. Yay God!

    I would appreciate your prayers. I've been so busy lately that I have been unable to respond to people most of the time, while at the same time not wishing to ignore this site and all you lovely ladies.. Pray for me to get on top of the many things that have entered my life lately, and that I too may bring renewed order to a multiplicity of obligations. :-)