Help With Your Mother's Rule

Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of the married vocation.

Ask Holly: This blog is composed of your questions. Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Helpers page and I will respond. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share, the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique Mother's Rule.
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Unschooling & Catholic Education

Dear Holly,
I wonder if I might tack on a question and ask you to elaborate a bit on this topic of homeschooling. I have been homeschooling our 7 year old for two years. I have jumped from curriculum to curriculum, not being satisfied with any one. Recently, I discovered John Holt and have been reading about unschooling. While, I don't think I can be a total unschooler (given my controlling nature), I am intrigued by creating opportunities where my children can learn in an environment that is naturally motivating for them, but I don't know how to create those opportunities. In addition, I frankly don't know how to find the balance between some standard curriculum and life experience learning. My children greatly prefer the latter.

Because I have not yet found the success that I deem ideal, I often question whether we are called to homeschool. However, much of that is based on fear and I try to remind myself often that God's plan for success often doesn't look like my own.

10 comments:

  1. From the outset, let me tell you that this topic of unschooling is one that I struggle with personally, as I find myself emotionally charged when it comes to discussing it. I have never been able to read an entire book on the subject without becoming angry and having to put the book down! :-) So, I will have to respond to this 'topic' very carefully and very briefly!!

    I am glad you do not think you could become an 'unschooler' in John Holt's meaning of the term, but not because you are a controller, but for a few very valid reasons: This theory is based upon a view of the child, similar to Rousseau's vision, that is unrealistic and romantic, based upon the child's innate ability to raise himself and educate himself, as long as he is not contaminated by the adults and society around him. This is in direct opposition to the entire notion of parents being the primary educators of their children, thus necessitating the actual educational mission of the parent to teach, by witness and word, as well as their irreplaceable role as transmitters of culture and the faith. It makes parental or teacher teaching the new 'sin' and this is directly opposed to Catholic teaching.

    Secondly, it assumes a view of the child as capable simply by virtue of growing older, to educate himself. This is due to the idea of education, maturity and even moral growth as something that happens with age, and which is based on the supposition that the child is not flawed in any way. This opposes not only what the Church teaches us about the reality of original sin, the darkened intellect and the tendency of the heart and will to pursue evil as well as good, but also defies the observable realities that even modern psychology admits regarding the need to form the child and teach him. And we know that there is no moral growth without a responsible formation of conscience and free will choosing an objective good, through the redemptive efforts of a Savior. For John Holt, there is no need of a savior nor formation.

    While we all learn informally by experience, to follow a path that attempts to re-create the wheel so the child can re-discover on his own every aspect of civilization and faith that billions of people have contributed to our knowledge pool alone, is ludicrous and idealized to the point of fantasy. Experience is a valid teacher, but as Mortimer Adler notes, past President of Encyclopedia Britannica, one would have to be a genius to not need others influence and direct teaching.

    Instruction and modelling and apprenticeship in all aspects of life is essential, as you already know in relation to our own growth as adults.

    ON a practical level - take your 2-3 hours a day for academic formation, directly teach your child his faith and lead him in practicing through prayer and sacraments,and then live your life with your child, letting him 'learn' all sorts of things in the rest of your life as you do chores, build or fix your home, do some nature walks, go on vacations, plant gardens, or whatever...

    As for the perfect curriculum, teach yourself what the skills are that need to be accomplished in his basic age level, reflect upon the meaning of life and what knowledge is essential to pass along to him, and find resources that suit your style and his, which means assessing rationally what works for you and what doesn't and why...

    Homeschooling has a whole host of skills that require learning, discernment and practice, as well as a hefty dose of self-discipline. And this latter applies to Mummy as well as child.

    Finding things a bit 'unsuitable' is not a sign of failure in your homeschool nor an indication of not being called.

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  2. Holly, you absolutely must read "A Little Way of Homeschooling: Thirteen Families Discover Catholic Unschooling" by Suzie Andres. I thought about you while I read it and how I might incorporate my rule into unschooling and I think it can be done.

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  3. Holly, as the original poster, I very appreciate your perspective on unschooling. Your thoughts are VERY helpful as I had not considered all of those aspects.

    When you have a moment, I wonder if I might also get your thoughts about waiting to teach essential skills such as reading, as in Raymond Moore's "Better Late Than Early". This intrigues me as well given the nature of my oldest child. However, whenever I think "outside of the box" like this, fear sets in. The paradigm of what the public education system sets forth is ingrained in me so much so that I lack a great amount of confidence if I attempt to stray from that mindset.

    As always, I appreciate your time and you are in my prayers.

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  4. Holly, I just read your note about your break. Please don't feel you need to respond to my last question before you return. Thank you again.

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  5. To the previous poster re: reading that new book: Honestly, I don't think I can read it right now, even if I tried. My two cents:

    There is a distinction between John Holt's "unschooling" and what Catholic families are doing to de-institutionalize their homeschools. I fear that if the term 'unschooling' is used throughout the Catholic books, and given what I know unschooling 'really is', I'd have to fight my strong reactions again...

    To me, the Catholic home educator's use of Holt's term is really unfortunate, because the bottom line is Holt means anti-teaching, not anti-schools, and I really really wish Catholics would not use the term... but I guess that is wishful thinking now that it's becoming 'popular'.

    Let's put it this way - if any family sets out to 'teach' via books, or instruction or stories or witness or words or lived experiences etc etc (meaning, that the 'method' one uses is geared to the unique needs and talents of the parents and the children and is not tied to traditional text/instruction methods), then this has its benefits. I imagine this is the way 'unschooling' - meaning de-institutionalized methods - is being intended by Catholic families.

    However, if one decides to adopt 'unschooling'in the sense Holt uses it- that the parents really doesn't interfere with the child's process- then it's really totally unacceptable to the mission of Catholic parental education. In fact, it contradicts the parental vocation.

    Keep this distinction in mind, and it might help clarify which resources to read. But watch out when reading secular unschooling resources, because they probably mean the latter, not the former, definition.

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  6. As for teaching a child to read - teach him when he is ready, determined not only by his interest, but by capacity to remember letter names OR sounds, ability to blend, visual memory of letter shapes. If he struggles, wait a couple of months. If he is seriously interested early, begin and go as far as he can. Tailor it to the child's needs and keep an eye out for when to move to the next level by his ability to do it.

    If it is ONLY interest that is holding him back, or his reluctance, then find books that interest him and work through those. Teach him the importance of reading, the gift of reading and the results of those who cannot read on life happiness and opportunities, let him see you read and enjoy it, read aloud to him fascinating stories or important facts about areas of his interest. Intrigue him, then begin to give him small small lessons that he can succeed in and praise his hard work. Success breeds success, and for boys, short and sweet is best.

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  7. Holly, I really appreciated reading your thoughts, I completely agree on so many points :) As for the Catholic unschooling I think maybe they might be referring to "de-schooling", as in breaking away from the traditional textbook, teacher-lecture format of brick and mortar schools. I think that is common among new homeschoolers and not incompatible with Catholicism, but you're right that the idea of children being perfect until they're influenced by us big bad adults is rather off the mark.

    Not to go too off-topic here, but I'm curious what your thoughts are on Montessori? Because I see a lot of similar ideology in that method too, but I'm conflicted because I know she was at least outwardly a Catholic, though I have read evidence that she was actually part of a humanist-style group as well, kind of discreetly. On the one hand I appreciate the respect for a child's dignity, but on the other hand it really does seem to have this idea that if we just put the right objects in front of a child he can teach himself.

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  8. I too appreciate your stance. After years of following innovative, "real" methodologies we returned to traditional education (at home) some years ago. We couldn't be happier - and that includes the children who are thriving and learning exponentially more than I could have imagined. Our experience has been contrary to what "all the books" predicted would come of this decision. The house is clean, the kids are enthusiastic, and we have good records for college.

    I am glad we followed our gut, and moreso, followed my husband's lead. Dad's input is so often pushed aside in favor of edu-experts and other mom's who are thought to know better.

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  9. I'm not Holly, but I have studied Montessori extensively and I would not compare it with unschooling. The teacher is a real, integral part of the prepared Montessori environment. Many of the objects found in a Montessori classroom would make no sense without the teacher to show how to use it. A Montessori classroom avoids the mistake (in my opinion) of treating all children the same. The teacher notices that a child is ready for something new or more complicated and provides a new lesson, much in the way Holly just described teaching reading.

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  10. All education involves
    a) the child who is the learner, and
    b) the other who is the teacher - which can be anything - parent, text, teacher, environment, habit, peers, media, etc.

    Our job as a parent is to provide a proper context for the child to learn, as we monitor and arrange for these things. Any theory that helps us to do this - by which we can glean good ideas and insights into how to do this to suit our family & child's needs legitimately - by all means, use what is good and spit out what is bad! But remember - we are the parents - we are the ones who discern, in line with Church teaching - how to bring about the desired results. We are never bound to follow someone else's methods , but to take from them what assists us.

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