Dear Holly,
I am writing to ask your thoughts on the Catholic identity at our local Catholic school. My two children are in early primary grades. I have had to pull them out of the sex ed and safe environment classes. Additionally, there are many little non-Catholicnesses going on, although there is some great stuff going on too. I try to avoid complaining about the little stuff because I am rather outspoken regarding the sex ed programs. But, it is so tough to send the kids to a Catholic school and spend so much money, and to have to pull them out of classes. I just wonder what you might assume would be the appropriate balance between protesting the inappropriate of the programs so that they may eventually be withdrawn, or just pulling the children out and leaving it at that. I really battle with this. I talk with my husband, but we have trouble coming up with an answer we are comfortable with. Homeschooling is not an option as my husband does not wish this for us. Public school these days seems even scarier though than what is presented in the Catholic schools.
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I understand why you battle with this, and I can only offer my opinion.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I do not know where you stand on homeschooling yourself, but if there is any desire or conviction in your own heart about the possibility, then I suggest you begin there with prayer for both you and your husband to come to agreement as to God's Will. If your husband is against it but you are not, then you may want to discuss 'why' he feels this way, and see if his concerns cannot be remedied through homeschooling coops, play-groups, etc... Homeschooling is a growing phenomenon, and people aren't so isolated now as they were years back.
But if this is not the case, then you are certainly proceeding in the right direction in my opinion - that of standing up for issues of high priority related to your childrens' 'Catholic' curriculum and letting pass smaller issues that merely reflect the very real fact that all places on earth, including our families and schools and churches, are always going to be in need of redemption.
What is not tolerable is permitting your children to be taught error nor anything you as a parent deem inappropriate for their age level or in an inappropriate setting. Since we are called as Catholic laity to witness the good to the world, I think a combination of your approaches is best - be vocal but respectful in addressing the issues as you see them - perhaps writing a more formal letter to state your objections and the references to Catholic teaching that these courses are in violation against, and then, in addition, removing your children from the courses that are objectionable. Your firm yet charitable witness to the truth and your removal from the classes in practice enable you to witness in word and deed. As far as I see it, without a specific 'call' to go further, which is up to you and your husband to discern, I do not see any further means need to be taken.
As for the loss or waste of money - well, we all suffer in different ways for our faith. This loss is far better than the formation of your children in error or their exposition to inappropriate material. Offer it up.
But one thing I see as extremely necessary for you, which must occur no matter what your approach to the school, is to ensure that your home is a haven of Catholic culture and Christian love.
Your social interaction, your care of possessions, your TV, radio, internet and written media material, your novels and your conversation - everything ought to be lived in fidelity to the Gospel, with great love, and in a rejection of the modern 'isms' and poor attitudes so prevalent in the media and our culture - so that whatever "non-Catholicness" your kids see at school will be very obvious to them, and will seem strange and inexplicable to them.
You and your husband are THE primary educators of your children. The three ways to help protect your children from any negative influences, even the most 'ordinary' faults, is twofold - 1) to ensure that you yourselves truly LIVE a virtuous Christian life so that you will naturally pass this along, almost by osmosis; 2) that you foster a very deep and accepting relationship with your children, becoming the warm affectionate people they can't wait to get home to see; and 3) your direct teaching about the faith in both a home catechesis program and a home atmosphere of lived Christianity.
The school is there to support you in your role as primary educators. Take what they can give and give well, and be thankful. Distance your children from what is problematic and pray for the staff and administration and teachers. Live your faith and pass it along to the children.