Help With Your Mother's Rule

Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of the married vocation.

Ask Holly: This blog is composed of your questions. Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Helpers page and I will respond. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share, the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique Mother's Rule.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Crazy to Think It's The Devil?

Dear Holly,
I had established a decent Rule and was adhering to it beautifully, even praying five times a day. The effect was transformative on my life, and I loved the regular communion with God. However, something happened over the past few days, and everything has fallen apart. I've been quarreling with my husband, bitterly quarreling, for no real reason. I feel disappointed all the time. I have a really negative attitude for seemingly no reason. I've been praying about this, and three times now I have been pointed in the direction that the devil is attacking me. The way I've discovered this is embarrassingly random.... three times, I've asked God "Please tell me what is wrong" and opened up three different reading sources. Each time the subject has dealt with attacks by the Devil. Once was scripture where Jesus is tempted in the desert, once was a quote by St. John Chrysostom about "Why God Permits the Devil to Tempt Us" (pg. 358 of Catholic Prayer Book edited by Father Hardon) and the third time, I opened up The Story of a Soul to when St. Therese was tormented by the Devil when lying in bed ill.
Does this sound crazy? Anyway, I'm sure my family and friends would think it is crazy. How do I get past this? Kick myself in the rear end and force myself to go back on my Rule? I'm even worried about mentioning this to the Priest. Is this a common thing?
I desperately want to regain the presence of the Lord in my life, and I also worry because I am being so nasty to my husband.
Posted by at 12:35 PM
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9 comments:

  1. First of all, go over your rule with the assistance of a priest or husband, to make sure that you are balancing your 5 Ps properly - that your rule is 'reasonable' and 'do-able' and make sure that you have adequate sleep, rest & breaks, hobbies, and social time so that you maintain a schedule that will not drive you into the ground. It must be something that can be lived when you are feeling low, and not be a burden. But on good days, you will find you have free time. You must ensure the balance of the rule and that it is not too taxing, so that you can rule out the rule itself as the cause of the problems. If this is taken care of, with other agreeing that it is a reasonable schedule for a mom & for your circumstances, then you can indeed begin to suspect the devil's bothering you as a result of trying to live it.

    The devil always pays attention when we are trying to live God's Will more responsibly. He certainly doesn't want you to live a rule of life and sanctify not only your own life, but the lives of your family and help others in the world through your practice of the Christian life. You can count on this harassment happening from time to time, so don't be surprised.

    He also very much wants you to keep it quiet and not to tell a priest - of course!!! My motto: When I feel tempted to not tell anyone, immediately book the appointment and go tell!!! The priest can give you counsel and prayers and blessings for protection. This priest can also help lead you into a deeper relationship with God, so never be scared of talking to a priest.

    Does it sound crazy to experience demonic harassment and temptation? To the practicing Christian, absolutely not! We live in a society that doesn't believe in God much less the devil, and this has been called the devil's greatest triumph. It behooves you to realize he is real, he does bug us, but that he is not all-powerful.

    Your best protection is to have a priest come and bless your house, as well as offer a Mass there, if at all possible. Have Holy Water in your home for blessing it regularly and for blessing yourself and the kids. I also suggest saying a daily rosary, and consecrating yourself, your family and your home to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Display a picture of the two Hearts so the home is clearly marked. Wear a scapular and put one on your kids so that you too are 'clothed in the habit of Mary' - another sign of your belonging to God.

    And most especially, hop back on that rule of life. It will bring you joy, soon. It must be doing some good for the devil to be so perturbed at you... And get to a priest to be able to talk about your experiences as you begin to live a more committed married life.
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  2. I recently read C. S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. It is a very insightful look at how the devil works to bring us down.
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  3. This question is timely for me. My husband and I started living our Rule on Monday - I refer to this past week as "the worst week ever". We're still tweaking a lot of things but we're pretty well balanced on the P's, so we tend to blame the Devil (especially since we have had more time for prayer as husband and wife and as family with our kids).
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  4. This experience is more common than we think... The Cure of Ars, before a conversion by one of his parishioners , used to have demonic attacks. He eventually realized the connection and would say, "Ahhhh.. A big fish is coming to confession tomorrow!"
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  5. I have recently re-started my rule, and my husband and I are snapping at each other over nothing! All 3 kids became ill (even the 4 week old little man) and I've had my own chronic illness flare up! I am sure it has to do with the Devil! Try listening to the Holy Mass each morning on Catholic Radio, it really helped me this morning!
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  6. I have recently had a similar experience with "things falling apart" after living my rule for a few months.

    I was snapping at my husband and kids, feeling very low and really struggling to keep it together. I also wondered if it was the Devil tempting me, but rather than go to a priest, I chose the secular route of going to speak to a therapist. I had the strangest experience while there: just as she was discussing the preliminaries (client confidentiality, etc.) I started shaking and sweating and had a very strong feeling that God was telling me NOT to speak to this woman but to bring all my fears and failings to him. HE was the answer to my problems, not a psychologist. Well, I apologized to the therapist and left the office without discussing a thing and felt the greatest relief.

    I have been trying to incorporate more prayer time into my rule and although I can't say things are perfect, they are improving. It was the first time I ever had the feeling that God was speaking directly to me so I am trying hard to obey.
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  7. Again, I cannot stress two things enough:

    1. Get someone who can 'objectively' look at one's rule to see that it is reasonable, and includes ample free time to reduce stress. We always look to the 'natural' reasons for issues first. When these are then discerned as not the cause, we can suspect the 'supernatural'. Then it is time for #2:

    2. Always - ALWAYS - choose to go to a priest for counsel if you consider the rule as a reason for problems... The priests are there to help us with these supernatural issues - it is their job. If the priest recommends secular therapy, THEN see a counsellor. Let the priest assist in discernment of spirits and in assisting with dealing with these spiritual issues.

    Hang in there ladies! Good must be coming of it all...
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  8. Hello. Could your "bitterly quarelling" with your husband be related to your hormones? Rest, proper diet and exercise might help. As well you might want to try drinking a cup of warm lemon water in the morning (simmer a couple of lemon slices(organic if possible)in a cup of water)which helps liver function.
    As for being crazy to think the devil might be involved, I don't think you are crazy. The devil is after all the arch-enemy of our souls. I completely agree with the advice of telling a priest as soon as possible. Satan wants to isolate us and keep us in the dark. Talking to a priest bring things into the light. Ask the Lord to direct you to the priest you should open up to. I hope all goes well! Blessings & peace to you & yours!
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  9. It looks like I'm a year behind the times, but "hi!" anyway. Consider doing the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel (like chicken soup: repeat as necessary until you feel all better). And talking to a priest is also a great idea. :-)

    "Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host - by the Divine Power of God - cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits, who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen."
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