Help
With Your Rule
Burning Out
Dear Holly,
I was looking forward to the summer break, but it only seems to be making me more stressed. The kids are out of their routine. I am feeling rudder-less without school to ground me. The house is a mess and yet I just cleaned it out in June. I am tired. And the school year, only 6 weeks away, looms large on the horizon and I feel pressured and burdened. Help!
Labels: 2nd P Person, 5th P Provider
posted by Holly at 1:17 PM
1 Comments:
It sounds to me like you have a rule in place during the school year, but the notion of summer relaxation has messed up your sense of order.
First off, I would want to put your heart at rest. There are phases when our responsibilities all pile up around us, and if we are in vacation mode, it becomes overwhelming. I would suggest you are not failing in anyway, so if this bothers you, put it aside.
Secondly, I would suggest that it is time to drop any of 'my' plans for the time being, and enter into a period of discernment with the Holy Spirit. Perhaps you could leave the house to the family to tidy for a day or two, and retreat to your bedroom and start cleaning out a closet or something, or work in your garden or basement - anything that you can do automatically, and permit your heart to correspond with the Lord. Ask Him questions in prayer:
"Lord, what is it you want of me?"
"What are my essential duties?"
"Show my heart how to integrate all its concerns into a single focus."
And truly spend time with him. Perhaps a good book - like MROL (!) or Catherine Doherty's "The People of the Towel and the Water" or "Dear Parents"- may help refocus your heart upon your vocation.
For I would suggest that your mind and your heart are full of many many concerns, and like the story of Martha and Mary, you need to draw your heart and focus back to what it is the Lord has called you to. For, as I have said before, where He calls, He empowers.
Matthew's Gospel, Mt 7:25-34, (read it!) tells us that today has enough trouble of its own, so I'd put away the school books and charts and schedules and everything until in your heart you feel ready to tackle them. And hey, it may mean the end of September, but that may be what is needed.
I'd also take a long pondering walk around the house and pray. Is my home cluttered? Do I have so much stuff that is unnecessary that it is hard to keep clean? Or if, in my family, everything is needed, do I have a proper place for it? After unnecessary stuff, proper furniture and storage is the next prime reason why our homes get unruly.
I'd suggest a re-printing of the chore charts and making sure that there is at least one time a day that the WHOLE FAMILY gets together to clean up the kitchen and the common rooms. Enlist your husband by sharing with him your concerns. Perhaps family clean up time could be for 20 minutes after supper dishes are done - and everyone commits to bringing the house back to order. I know that this will have a large influence on your sense of being burned out.
And lastly, I would look at all my outside commitments - I'd ask myself once more, what is part of my calling and what is not? What can I get rid of as a commitment outside the home? What must I keep? And set limits to the extra involvements until I am in a space where I can function.
And then focus on the 5 Ps. Get your prayer time in. Get a daily walk or exercise, better with the husband and/or kids; eat nutritious meals and take the time to plan and cook them; get at least 9 hours of sleep a night until you are feeling better; get some vitamins; spend some time with husband and kids in a relationship building way every day - when can you set aside this time? And take everything else that is hanging around the house and bothering you and put it in a big box(es) to be dealt with later when you are ready.
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