Help
With Your Rule
The 5 Priorities Do Matter
Dear Holly and Others,
This morning I was trying to write out a schedule for us and I am feeling overwhelmed. I have written out many schedules, and we do have a basic plan, and I try not to be too nitpicky -- focusing on routines more than detailed time slots. But, as I was doing it, I just began to feel irritated. So, I thought I would write this letter and ask for advice and wisdom.
My husband works odd hours and odd days.The only days that are the same in our household during the week are T,W, and F. Plus, with him home most mornings, it is hard to do schoolwork (we homeschool). Furthermore, I just feel like there is so much to do -- housework, yardwork, gardening (we have over 3 acres to tend to), schooling, let alone the important stuff like prayers, confession, adoration, mass, spiritual direction.
I think what I am trying to communicate is that first, I feel like I have too much to do and not enough time (like a budget: too many needs and not enough funds), and second, because of my husband's schedule, it is hard to have a regular schedule at home -- I want to be available to him while he is here, and we wait on him for morning prayers (I confess -- I have to remind myself to be thankful that I have a husband who is striving to live for Christ and wants to lead us in prayers) and, well, it is just harder to get things done while he is here because I want to be here for him. I really like to do as much schoolwork before lunch -- at 11 so we can have a family lunch with my husband, because it is just so hard to get it done after lunch. But, a thought occurred to me today: my two older children stay up later than the others and they could do some of their "individual" work after the littler ones are in bed.
So, I wanted to put this out to see if there is anyone who could offer some tips -- perhaps someone else can look at it and see a possibility I have not seen. Perhaps someone could offer advice on how to get the things done.To be honest, most days I feel like there is just too much to do to get the house clean and tidy, along with yard work and prayers and just general living, and therefore not enough time to do schoolwork.
Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 11:54 AM
4 Comments:
I would start with making sure I got a morning and afternoon and evening prayer time in - with ample quiet and time to relax and calm. I would make this my first and only commitment with my new rule. And during this time, I would read , mediate and reflect upon what my vocation is, what I felt God was calling me to, what my priorities were, and I would ask God to direct me,and to empower me.
And then, slowly,in a week or so, I would begin to look at the next P to see what I could add - like a daily walk, or setting meal times and getting meal chores sorted, in discussion with the family. And then the next couple of weeks, after that was established, I'd look at the 3rd P, and see when I could have time for my hubby and the 4th, when I was going to homeschool (or stop for the summer).
I think that what I hear you saying is that you are trying to tackle it all at the same time, and that mostly, you have not put your Ps in order. I believe that the hierarchy of priorities is essential, not just a good idea, because they are based on human nature's primary relationships, in order of significance - human nature's distinct relation to God, within self, others and the material world. If God is placed first, since we are creatures and dependent upon him, other things tend to work out. We are not called to do all this alone, as the disciples were not called to feed 5000 with their own steam.
Start with the prayer, start small, and rely on Him to direct, lead and strengthen you. For where He calls, HE empowers
A Mother responds From the MROL group:
When I first did my rule I was very overwhelmed too. There is so much going on in our lives. I love a close friend of mine who says "God did not intend
for us to live this way" And she is right. As I got adjusted to my rule I saw just how much was superfluous. For example I check my email in the
morning and then turn off the computer until daily rest and quiet time. Then it goes off again until after bed. It was such a distraction and is was
preventing me from being available to my children. So off it went it opened a lot of time I did not think I had.
Anyway... My husband travels a lot and is home some days then not home other days. I think it is great that your husband wants to lead you guys in prayer and such. I finally had to just tell my husband that I had to stick to our schedule regardless of whether he was home during the week. He was ok with that because he is working while home on the computer or phone. So we
continue with our routine whether he is home or not and honestly he enjoys having things more structured.
Also could you design your rule around a non-traditional week? Start on Tuesday and go through Saturday. Then have Sunday and Monday as your
weekend?? There is no law that says kids cannot do school work on Saturday. You might try that. By doing so you may find you have more flex time to just enjoy your husband being home. Use Mondays to do yard work as a family or take a field trip.
Dear Mom,
Sounds like you need to make a list.
If it helps to have everyone get some housework
done first off in the morning then do that.
I used to throw my laundry in in the morning.
I would switch it during lessons.
When the weather was nice I folded my laundry at night when my children went to bed or did it outside when they played (on our table). Now that my children are older they each have their own basket and fold and put away their own laundry.
You can save time by having them each have their own basket so you don't have to sort laundry from child to child. Huge time savor.
I suppose we don't have enough info as to why
it's such a problem home schooling with your husband around. Is it that you are trying to spend time with him? Let his time with you be your activities as a home school parent.
It's really up to how or if he wants to be involved..
read to the children? Or he probably had his own things he's working on. It might be easier to involve him in family prayers at night or to include
him in for dinner and not worry if you have lunch
at the same time.
It all depends on his/your needs and if they mesh
or trying to mesh them are causing too much conflict. My husband used to work at home but the
children wouldn't let him get his work done...the boundaries were too hard to uphold so he moved his work to a friends house.
Perhaps you are focusing too much on your husband and if you would just focus on your children - teaching them...your husband would more come in by your side in your schedule.
It's really what is what you both want and need.
Maybe he wants to be involved or maybe not.
Sounds like the first thing to do is to talk to your husband.
Denise
THE CATHOLIC MOM
http://web.mac.com/thecatholicmom/
I would really recommend you take Holly's advice!! I know a number of people (myself included) who resolved many things by focusing on the first P first!! Peace comes with correct priorities.
God Bless
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