Help
With Your Rule
How do I Find "Think Time" ?
Dear Holly (and other moms),
I first joined the MROL discussion group about a year or so ago when I was trying to start my Rule after moving to a new town. Lo and behold, God decided that I was instead to spend my time battling horrible morning sickness! After that my attention was focused on caring for a newborn and preparing for the holidays. Now that my daughter is 5 months old and we've started a new year, I am really wanting to get a good Rule in place. My biggest problem seems to be finding the time to actually sit down and create one! Between homeschooling, dental/doctor appointments, sports/music lessons, and the endless amount of housework and laundry that 6 children and 2 adults generate.I feel like all I'm ever doing is trying to catch up with myself. How can I "force" myself to create a good working Rule of Life? Any ideas or suggestions -especially prayers!-would be greatly appreciated.
Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 6:07 PM
2 Comments:
A friend of mine took her Mothers Rule of Life book to her weekly adoration and had the Lord speak to her during that time. It provided the personal quiet and space to really focus on the questions and issues in each of the 5 Ps.
And this is the heart of my reply. I think that it would behoove you to pray to the Holy Spirit to help you find time, or better 'make' time, or even to give you strength to make the commitment to form a rule.
If the motivation is there, then I would take a week (to ten days) 'off', depending on the state of the house and my frustration.
I would look at stopping homeschooling for that time. I would cancel all my outside commitments for a week. I would spend my day time going thru the house doing a room analysis, and I would get my kids right in there to help me, as we tackle their bedrooms and the main living areas. (Theoretically, this could even take up to a month, depending on the home. The key point, is to allow the time - and not feel a false guilt about other lesser commitments ).
And in the evenings, aside from basic chores of meals and laundry, I'd sit down with the book and some popcorn and a Diet Cola and begin to answer all those questions about the 5Ps. For, in my opinion, the very first step of forming a rule is to 'THINK', not to do.
You need to interact with the questions in the book - for they help you decide what you personally consider your unique way of meeting the priorities in each of our shared responsibilities. In reality, I think the thinking process of starting a rule is a bit like getting to know yourself - as you discover and reason and decide what you believe is important to you, and how you will tackle it.
Now, lastly, it may also be important for you to discern if you are truly interested/able/called to a rule of life at this moment in time. As I have said before, I had heard about a rule long before I made one, and since the spiritual life is one of gradual growth and progress, you may actually not be ready for a rule. And this is why I emphasize - PRAY.
It is the Holy Spirit who helped motivate and strengthen me to formulate and implement a rule. I assume it will be the same thing for you. Blessings upon you.
Just wanted to add some words of encouragement. I too decided to start the new year by establishing a Mother's Rule. I'm nowhere near finished, but the baby steps I've taken have already made a huge difference in our home.
I am not able to take much time "off" as Holly suggests, so I've just been going bit by bit. I would encourage you to start by answering as many questions as you can for each of the 5 Ps in a small notebook. Skip whatever questions you can't answer for now. Then, KEEP THE NOTEBOOK AND A PENCIL WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES. Ideas, answers to questions, draft schedules, etc. have been coming to me at weird times and having the notebook handy to jot them down has really helped me progress.
Focusing of the first P has really helped me. So far, I've only been successful at sticking with a morning prayer time (very short) and church every Sunday, but even that change in my schedule has drawn me closer to God and has taken away so many of the obstacles that normally cause my attempts to "organize my life" to fail. I could give you lots of examples, but I'll just leave it at this: I normally struggle with resentment towards my husband, but the Holy Spirit has taken nearly all of it away. I don't know how to describe it other than a miracle - My Sweet LORD has taken on that burden for me. My heart is the same - I still do not like to see my husband on the couch when I'm racing around the house, but the anger/rage is gone. It's like my prayer time turns that switch off. Now, because an angry wife isn't whirlwind-ing through the house, my home is blessed with the peace I have desperately wanted it to be filled with. Go figure.
All this is just to say - hack away at your Rule. Do what you can. Just the process itself can be a mighty blessing.
From Another Holly
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