Help
With Your Rule
A Teen's Prayer
Dear Holly (and other moms),
My teenage son is wonderful - generous to a fault, and with an ability to forgive easily and genuinely that leaves me breathless. However, he hates reading and the bulk of his Christian formation comes from attending Mass and listening to me read and teach. His own prayer life is non-existent. Whilst I can have him pray a family Rosary with us, once again it is *with* others....any ideas (starting small would be best) to develop good personal prayer and devotional habits for him??
Labels: 4th P Parent
posted by Holly at 8:22 PM
2 Comments:
First off, I want to point out that, any teen in today's society who is generous to a fault and who knows how to genuinely forgive has already been blessed by God. He sounds like a wonderful boy.
Meanwhile, I understand your concern that he has no 'private' prayer life (... to your knowledge, of course - because we never know the heart of a person fully). So many times we see our children and think they may be on the verge of a wrong road or not growing liek we are expecting and it can worry the mother's heart.
And yet, firstly, I do want to point out to you that he is in fact sill having a relationship with God. We can't discount the value of his Mass attendance and reception of the Eucharist (the 'fount' of all Christian strength and spirituality) and his listening to you. His attendance at family rosary and even grace before meals are all a normal part of his life, from the sounds of it. All of this "IS" prayer!
And as a priest once said to me when I talked to him about my kids' mere 15 minutes of morning prayers and daily rosary and Mass, outside of religion class - "Don't dismiss this. All prayer is honored by God. All prayer is real prayer."
In addition, you are planting the seed in your family life. And just as seeds take time to grow into seedlings and finally flowering plants, so too your son's spiritual life will take time to develop into something he will undertake for himself.
I have found that my teens tend to experience God once they get more involved in a retreat or something that has nothing to do with Mummy. It's like once Mummy is out of the way, God comes to visit them.
Now it looks like Mummy is an obstacle to God's presence in the teen's life. But in reality, it is just the opposite. Let me explain:
I have found that God does not often directly visit unless there is a really good reason - as a sign of encouragement, or as a way to strengthen for a trial, or as a way to confirm a direction in life. But the rest of the time, God remains hidden.
The very fact that God remains hidden in your son's life - that your son does not feel called or drawn to more 'personal' prayer yet - in a way indicates to me that God is quite happy with your son and your family as it is.
God knows that, since Mummy is there, led by the Spirit, to watch over the son and help him pray by communal prayer, then God does not feel the need to draw your son more directly yet.
So while you can do many things - like find Catholic videos and music and radio stations which may appeal more to his auditory nature, I also think that your continued prayers for him and his continued participation in communal prayer & the Mass are still all equally valid.
And in the end, while you can encourage him to turn to the Lord with his own needs and intentions - (perhaps a space for quiet prayer before the rosary for a few moments as you teach him how to present his needs and desires to the Lord ), with such a healthy family culture, your son IS learning the lessons which will form him for when he goes out on his own.
Holly, thankyou...that *truly* ministered to my mother-heart.
Jenny
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