Help
With Your Rule
A Mother's Rule For a Working Mom
Dear Holly,
I am re-reading MROL with great interest and am using the questions to discern, with the help of my spiritual director, what might be a useful rule to aid me on this journey of holiness. My question is this - have you had any feedback from moms working outside the home regarding things that have helped in the development and implementation of their Rules? For a variety of reasons, working outside the home in addition to being a wife and mother is where I find myself, and I hope to continue on the path to personal and familial sanctity in the midst of our particular situation. I don't imagine it's impossible, just that some of the specifics might need to be tweaked a bit to reflect the chunk of time that I'm out in the workplace (and perhaps with a different focus of finding ways to maintain a prayerful, recollected spirit in the workplace). Any thoughts that others might have shared on this topic would be most helpful.
Labels: 5th P Provider, About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 9:36 AM
2 Comments:
I think that you are right when you say some things will need to be tweaked a bit as time is at a premium for you.
First off, you will need to be very efficient with your prayer. You need at least your morning prayer and evening prayer and a half hour a day for private meditative prayer. Your family can join you with the morning and evening prayer.
Remember that little prayers count too, and aid in recollection - a slow 'grace' said and meant before meals; a small concentrated prayer before you begin a new task - like "Jesus, I do all this for you, because you ask it, out of love for you.
They key point is to begin to see all tasks as part of God's request to you, and turning your heart toward him as He asks "Will you take your coffee break now?" and then offering all to him and doing all for him. This will maintain your recollection, for recollection is based on what you think about and where your heart is.
In anyway which you can involve your family in the care of your second P, do so. Design meal plans to meet the needs of all. Family swims, family gym or biking, hikes - any way you can meet the needs of your 2nd P and still be with your family and help meet their needs, will help you. it would be most difficult to work all day and then take off again in the evening to do your gym when your family remains at home waiting to spend time with you.
At the same time, a regular period of time for your recollection and refreshment is essential. When are you going to get your Mother's Sabbath without interfering with your limited time with your family?
Also, you will need to delegate those things which anyone can do, so that you have time to do the things only you can do - such as hug a child, and sit and listen to a moaning teenager, or being present to your husband. Decluttering your home so that clean up is easy; assigning chores to the family to do together after supper so that the work is shared; even hiring help to assist with weekly clean - all these are options to help you not be overwhelmed.
You also need adequate time to think. You have a personal life to live, but you also have a family who need your ongoing personal involvement. You can't afford to be so busy about office and housework that you ignore your kids. Get your 5th P in order and down to a science so you can be available for your most important work in the first 4 Ps, and most especially in your primary task of educating your children, which remains more important than your job outside the home.
What are your 'essential' and 'personal' responsibilities in the 5 Ps that only you can do? What can you delegate or get help with or eliminate in the rest? These will be the questions which will help you do the many jobs you are called at present to do.
Holly, I too work outside our home, part time. I love your ideas for the second P-exercise--that has been a struggle for me.
Some ideas for keeping my focus on God while I am at work: I have a small book of prayers in my desk that I can go to when I get a break. I keep a finger rosary in my pocket to use if I have a spare 5 or 10 minutes to pray a decade of the rosary. I drive around town quite a bit now and have downloaded daily reflections for the day's readings to listen to as well as christian music.
When I firt began working on my rule I had hired some help in cleaning the house so I could focus a bit more on the other P's. I also suggest not bringing work home or staying later than your designated time--once you start it is very hard to stop!
I also have come to terms with the fact that some of the "extra" things I enjoy such as scrapbooking, quilting, etc. are not at the top of my list for activities in my rule and this isn't the "time" for them.
Good Luck, you are in my prayers.
Leah
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