Help
With Your Rule
My Kids are Too Little
Dear Holly,
I am overwhelmed. I can't implement a rule because my kids are too little. What can I do until they grow up and I can start mother's rule?
Labels: 4th P Parent, About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 10:47 AM
8 Comments:
When I began my rule, my kids were 8 months, 2 years, 4 years, 6 years and 8 years. I see no obstacle to a rule by virtue of having little children. In fact, I see it more necessitates a rule.
One of the best things about my rule is that it focuses my attitude and my efforts on what is most important. Just internalizing the idea of vocation and doing God's will has made a great difference for me. Said another way, this is largely about attitude for me. Then start small and take it one step at a time. My children are 2,3, and 5. I've been working on my rule for 8 months now and I'm not even close where I imagine Holly is now. But because I see this as a clear and reliable path to fulfilling my vocation, I am committed to making progress, no matter how small. God will bless your efforts. Kim
I have found that it helps to feel as though i have accomplished some things other than changing diapers. It has helped me to take pride in my vocation as a mother to the little ones. If God does send you more children, it is important to make your rule a habit now while you have "time"!!! God bless you!
A friend felt the same way, and I think the age of the oldest child matters more than the age of the youngest sometimes. My life was able to get so much more organized when the oldest two hit five and three. Little bits of order until then.
I too am having trouble with adjusting to my rule because I have a 11month old and a 3 year old. I feel like I am just constantly cleaning the kitchen and picking up toys. Because my baby still wakes up SOOO much in the night I am constantly tired and have a really hard time getting up early like I did when I started my Rule. I keep wondering what life will be like when we have a 3rd child.
I keep thinking that starting small is the best way to go....I just try to keep on top of things. Thanks to all for the advice.
I think the first thing is to re-adjust your rising time. Every winter, I sleep in 90 minutes longer every day. I think this is reasonable for you as a mom who is probably still up at night.
Secondly, clear out your house. Create 4-7 days worth of toy baskets, and put all but one in a storage area of the basement, attic, garage or spare room. Every day, bring out ONE bin of toys. Next day, bring out another while putting the first one back. Put all the toys in one place - we used to do the living room. Tidy it once before lunch, once before supper, and once before bed. Leave it the rest of the time. Have the 3 year old and Daddy assist.
As for kitchen - clear off your counters and clear out your drawers. Store all your extra plates and appliances and towels and tablecloths etc that you don't need out of there! Have 7 plates, 7 forks, 7 glasses (altogether). Just enough to eat with, with a spare in the dishwasher! That way, you will reduce all your clutter.
Teh same could applky to laundry - limit the clothing in the drawers to 5 outfits per person. Tat's it. Set up a large bookshelf in a spare room or attic or hall - and only bring out a small box of books a day for the kids. Replace and return each day.
Generally, look to see
a) what is NOT working
b) answer WHY it is not working
c) reflect HOW can I meet the real need here
4) ask your husband's advice
5) ask your husband's help if necessary
Oh. And by the way, when you have more children, they help more. So you don't have to be the only one who runs to get that diaper you forgot to bring downstairs. I found that having one or two children was more difficult than having 3 to 5 children.
Holly
beautiful comments everyone! i too have 3 small children.
ages are 3, 1 and 14 weeks. what helps for me is that this is more than just a schedule and getting it all done. it's an attitude adjustment. i am now walking with the Lord throughout the day.
MROL has been a means of drawing me closer to God in prayer while carrying out my duties. it has helped me recognize the joy in self sacrifice for my family. especially since they are all so needy at this age... dependent on me for everything.
it is hard some days, but the rule has brought order and peace.
you may think ... well that's all fine and dandy... but it really does work. here is how i went about it.
i build my day around the needs of the kids and my husband (and myself of course... remember the priorities!)
so the main part of the day revolves around feeding the kids and having a nice sleep schedule for them. the rest is filled in with playing, reading, diapering, brief moments of peace... small windows of time of doing work while keeping an eye on the children... i'm also nursing.
so what i did was start backwards. what time do i want them to rise? what time should they go to bed at night? how many naps a day is enough based on age? what time should supper be for the entire family?
then i can fill in the little details and work around that. like i have a guideline that i decide what is for dinner by noon so i can start preparations. my crock is my best friend right now. i do certain tasks on certain days and now they are automatic... like most laundry is done on mondays. shopping is once a week, either thurs or fri. this helps with planning.
but it is doable with real small children. ask the Lord to show you how to proceed. You can never pray enough about these things. go with the natural rythm of your day.
hope that helped. God bless you. feel free to email anytime!
Melanie
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