Help
With Your Rule
Learning to Simplify
Dear Holly,
It was so great to meet you this past weekend at the MCH Conference! Thanks so much for coming and sharing your time and gifts with us. We have been meeting for the past year to discuss each chapter of your book and support each other. It has been a tremendous help to me personally. When I first heard about your book from my friend, I was not interested because I had been implementing a schedule for a couple of years with my children. Then I read a review for your book on Spirit Daily and knew I had to read it. What I was looking for was in the last chapter or two of your book when you said God would come in the peace of my soul. I realized God cannot come when there is no peace. And to have peace, I needed more order. I had some order in my life, but not an all-emcompassing order that your rule proposed. One of the areas I need to grow more is in simplifying. I have felt in my soul over the last 6-12 months that God is calling me to simplify my life. I have tried to do this, but still feel I'm "floundering" in this area. I was hoping you might be able to "mentor" us a little more in this area or if you could recommend resources that may help.
Labels: 1st P Prayer, 5th P Provider
posted by Holly at 2:13 PM
12 Comments:
Just the thought of simplicity moves my heart, because when we have little else on our minds and hearts, we can turn them to God - and in doing this, we practice the 6th Beatitude - "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God."
Important promise - when we have purity in heart - and this means, our intent is focused on doing God's Will out of love for Him - then we shall see God. We will KNOW Him. And this is what attracts you, isn't it, in the last two chapters of MROL? Me too! :-)
Simplicity is a clearing the highway of debris so the Lord can come without running into anything!
So, simplicity encompasses many aspects of our lives - our possessions, yes, but also our activities, our desires, our projects, our study plans, vacation desires, apostolic efforts...
The more we have on our minds and hearts, the less room for God. And so simplicity tries to remove all that is not truly necessary for a good, healthy and human life.
So, I reduce my possessions - and purge the house regularly - choosing basic needs to be fulfilled thru simple means - instead of buying the most high priced bedspreads, I choose the simplest... So it is a reduction of stuff, but also a moderation in what I DO purchase and how much I spend.
I have always found that it helps to focus on what we need to live first, and then on what my family can use to bring us closer together - so to have our pingpong set, our dart set, our tennis rackets, our camping gear - all these are possessed and used FOR THE PURPOSE of bringing relationship unity to the family - BECAUSE God asks it of us. Similarly, in the absence of 'need' of these things, we can just as easily go without, and that is simpicity too.
So it all becomes a matter of 'intent' - why we have/do/purchase. Do we own because we just want it, or does it serve a significant spiritual purpose?
Fr Thomas Dubay's book "Happy Are You Poor: The Simple LIfe and Spiritual Freedom" (recommended to me by a reader) is an excellent and tremendously challenging book to bring about simplicity of possessions. And remember, this is a process which we grow into...
Simplicity for me is maintained in my regular clean-outs of the house. As the family collects junk (where does it come from???) and I too help them to remove what is unnecessary - to think about purchases instead of impulse buy - to let go of the unneccesary so that our hearts don't bond to it...
But I also like to think that we need simplicity in our thoughts and desires too. When I have too much on the go - too many articles to write because "I" want to... or too many house plans because "I'd" like to decorate... or too much school project ideas because "I" feel like it - I become closed to God's presence. What "I" want fills my heart and head and leaves little room for what God wants.
If the road to God is straight and narrow, then veering off on other paths may lead us BACK to the main road eventually, but it still detours us from reaching God faster. So, for me, the heart of simplicity is a 'receptivity' toward what GOD requests of me, manifested in the present moment, and shown by my daily duties.. Which I then accept in a spirit of FIAT like Mary, and I focus on that. If I branch off to make my own plans, I lose my recollection.
In reality, simplicity of life is a mortification of desire and self-will which leaves one totally open to God's direction and whispers.
Where to go for stuff on this? Hmmm - "Abandonment to Divine Providence" would be my first pick.
Holly, I thank God for your beautiful response. I know that I will come back to this one again and again. In fact, I think I'll even print it out so as to have a constant reminder of this. It's an ongoing process, isn't it? Month-by-month, day-by-day, minute-by-minute.
Thank you again for your ministry. God truly is using you!
WOW! Thank you reader for asking Holly and thank you Holly for posting this crucial info. In our world of constant "fast food life" where if we want it now, just go get it...it can be so easy to loose sight of that which we need and that which we want. We think more is better for the kids; more toys for a variety etc...but isn't less more? I have noticed after big decluttering when I have my 4 children bring their toys and clothes to the good will or a friends house to give to them; the toys left in OUR home are so much more interesting! Holly, thank you for reminding me that decluttering and simplfying is not just so that our home is not messy but truly a way to get closer to our Lord. God bless you!
Holly -
On this same subject of simplifying, we are currently putting an addition on our house. I don't want it; our house is large enough to accommodate our needs without it. However, my husband wants it for a variety of reasons - an upstairs bedroom suite for us instead of a smaller bedroom downstairs, a large dining room, a fireplace. Yes, I agree, all these things would be really nice, but, in my mind, certainly not necessary. We've talked about it and have not been in agreement, so, as he is the main provider, it was started a few weeks ago. Every time I look at the beginning foundation, I think of all the people starving in the world, and how much money is being put into this project!! Now granted, even if we didn't build, that money most likely wouldn't have gone to third world countries, but still...! Any input in cases where one spouse wants to simplify and the other may not?
I think simplifying in one's own life as much as one can would be the start - the type of clothing we wear, how much food we eat and what types, decorating purchases, kitchen supplies, etc... just doing what we can. We must work within the limits and circumstances God has placed us in.
If it helps any, to Anonymous, we are just finishing an addition on the house-an upstairs bedroom and a family room. After a long desire to move, I mentioned to my husband, it might not be a bad idea to add onto the house, as it would be more affordable and we love our current home, but might grow out of it. My husband took that and ran with it, which is not like him. Ever since I have felt somewhat guilty for even mentioning it, for the same reasons you explain-I didn't really expect him to say yes. But somewhere inside, I feel that since my husband was so interested to pursue it, it just might have been from the Lord. It just might serve a purpose for us beyond being selfishly gratifying. We hope to have lots of children, so that was a factor. We have no family close by and when they do come, they don't stay b/c there's no room, or they're uncomfortable at least. My parents came just a month ago, and the visit was remarkably more pleasant-I also think they may now be able to move in with us when they retire, if they choose. But also, we have had the opportunity to meet lots of people who have engaged in faith discussions with me just b/c they saw a picture hanging-painters, drywallers, etc. (as there are statues and pictures all over the house)...I still go back and forth as to whether we did something the Lord wanted or not. You don't usually think, "God wants me to have an addition put on!" And maybe my reasonings are rationalizations too, because the guilt does creep in still. But what's done is done, so use this opportunity, in the simple ways, to show others peace when we know how unpeaceful construction can be for a Mom!-there will be plent of opportunities for mortification.....who knows what God has planned. God Bless.
To the other Anonymous - thank you so much for sharing your experience and insight. I will continue in my effort to simplify my life in areas I have control over, but it was great to hear from someone who was going through the same thing. I will no longer fret about it (or at least try!) and give it over to the Lord instead. He knows our hearts, right?! Thanks again for your wisdom.
Your post did me a lot of good too! The Lord let us find each other to rest our minds a bit and move forward:). God bless to you and as priest once told me in confession, (after a confession full of guilty feelings for the over-abundance in my life), "Take a moment and bask in your blessings." I assume he was telling me to add thankfulness to all of these guilty feelings as I would not have these blessings if the good Lord hadn't granted them to me. Take care!
Yes, I believe gratefulness and a thankful heart IS the praise God wants.
Oh yes...a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I too have felt the 'tug' to simplify for quite some time now. For me it comes down to fostering 'detachment', which in itself is a process.
Simplicity is something I am yearning for too! I think Americans have way too much stuff! And now my children have --way more than they need.
But I have found--that I have also way too many Catholic mediums--I receive a Catholic newspaper, which I don't read becuz I have no time--I have EWTN, which I don't watch anymore, becuz, again--w/ 3 kids under 5, no time. Catholic radio, Mother's Rule of Life on-line, many other Catholic books and websites. For right now, I just have to pick one or 2 mediums to get my news and Catholic uplift--becuz I'm simply wasting money and losing prayer time.
LIfe is so busy and too short--I've realized I have to cut out even good stuff that I spend time on becuz it interrupts my prayer and family time--I appreciate everyone's tips and suggestions. Holly, this a great topic!
Sara
I agree that we can have too much of a good thing - even Catholic resources. I guess as I stated earlier, I believe simplicity also includes all the stuff which rolls around in our heads as well...
That is one of the reasons why I counseled that we write our rules out - at least until all this becomes habit - so that all the busy details of living leave our minds. It is so important, for simplicity reasons, to have an uncluttered mind. And only here, far from human preoccupation, will we be able to attend to the whispering presence of God. Do we really want to continue to think about when we do our laundry? Or would we rather speak with God and feel him?
Compare it to a Bunsen Burner flame. It is small and little, and it burns quite nicely and evenly. But if there is a hurricane flying around it, even if the flame stays lit (which there is a danger it will be put out), who would notice it? It is so small and the winds and rain grab our attention!
So too with contemplative prayer (the prayer which is the communion experience of God's presence within) - it is very much like a burning little bunsen flame way down deep - but being mentally preoccupied (which stirs our emotions up in response) makes us incapable of feeling the flame - and worse, it could put the flame out!
So, if we wish to encounter God more constantly, we need to simplify even that which churns within us - heart and mind - (even too many Catholic topics!) - to give still waters and straight highways for the Lord
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