Help
With Your Rule
The Long Lost Nap...
Dear Holly,
I had accomplished getting all three of my children -- even baby -- to take an afternoon nap so I could get a break and get my housework done. I took the advice of another mom and broke up my tasks into days (Monday: living room, Tuesday: kitchen, Etc.). Now, however, my preschool child is quitting her nap! I don't know what to do with her! I have tried quiet time in her room for 1/2 hour, but she keeps getting out of her room and disrupting her sleeping sister. (Is this reason to discipline her?) Even with 1/2 hour quiet time, this doesn't give me much time to get anything done. I guess I feel like this part of my rule isn't working anymore, and I have to adjust! How much quiet time is appropriate for a preschooler? Any suggestions for what to do with her for the 2 hours I used to have to clean, organize and relax?
Labels: 4th P Parent
posted by Holly at 8:02 PM
5 Comments:
Hmmm... a number of things I'd look at here. Am I getting her up too late so she isn't tired at nap time? Could I get her up earlier? Could I schedule some physical exercise in the morning before lunch so she'll be naturally more tired in the afternoon? Can I put her in to nap right after lunch, when a full tummy lends itself to sleepiness?
And, if she doesn't wish to nap, can I give her a stack of children's books - 20 or 30 high - and have her 'read' quietly on her bed? Can I bring down a special toy which she can play with just at that time, and no other time throughout the day (like a doll house) which would keep her interested and occupied?
There are many ways to look at this question.
And , then, if I had decided after deliberation and consultation with my husband that it was best for a Quiet Time after lunch (which I personally obviously decided!), then I would insist that this is Quiet Time and I would consider it an area for my supervision. I would explain WHY this was so important. I would explain what Mummy was going to do during this time and why you need her in the room. I would explain what we were going to do AFTER. And then I would ask her to stay in her room, and say "OK?" and get her agreement.
Now, if she wandered out a couple of times, I wouldn't freak out, but would calmly ask her to return, explaining all the reasons you first gave, and ushering her in - kindly, lovingly, firmly - and tell her it's not that much longer...
I would also look, if necessary, of putting a gate up across her door - not so much to keep her in, as she could climb, but as a symbol of your intent for her.
In addition, personally, I would take my half hour quiet time when she did and restore my spirits.
Secondly, I would then bring her out and both keep a hushed tone so the other chidlren could sleep, and I would go about my work with her working right along with me - as Mummy's Special helper! Who is so grown up now that she doesn't need to nap but who can help Mummy! You could plan work in a location in the house which was away from sleeping siblings and use a baby monitor if you needed to.
I think the key is to involve her in YOUR work. She can play with soap bubbles while you clean. She can push a broom while you dust. Her work doesn't have to be 'effective' - just 'with' you. I don't think she need live life seperately - she needs to be with you. Kids can be happy with so little. I have always
found that on my busiest housecleaning days, the kids used to just wander aroudn and play with all the stuff I had out...
The key is to have her live life WITH you, work ALONGSIDE you - and thus, you need to pray to switch from a task-oriented perspective to a person-oriented focus.
Gosh, we are going through the same thing. But I feel that my 3 year old still NEEDS his nap (and it shows as the day progresses). Could it be that this is merely a power struggle for him and that he knows that if he continues to make a ruckus he will get to leave his room? His brother is usually sleeping a bit before him and he screams and cries and wakes him up if I don't remove him from his room.
I also don't have the problem of him leaving- just settling down and napping!
Well again - I'd be looking at what physical factors I could - I'd look at timing for meals and nap time - would a half hour postponement help? What about a half hour earlier rise? What about a half hour later bedtime at night - or a combo of all three? What about exercise? What about rest time vs sleep.
I had a child hwo stopped napping at 18 months and who was still awake at 11:00 at night. At nap time, I just put her in her room with books and toys and shut the door, while her younger and older brothers both still slept! She wasn't going to sleep. I would put in some juice and a couple of crackers too, which seemed to keep her in her room, although she was never 'quiet'! Still isn't!
But other chidlren, I still maintained the quiet time, and they WOULD fall asleep. My temptation was to let them sleep too long!
I'd still look thru all these above issues to see if I couldn't foster sleep, or at the very least, insist upon a quiet time.
I used to have this problem too. My son stopped napping at 2.5 yrs of age, even though he desperately needed a nap still. It was very frustrating. I would send him to his room, but he wouldn't fall asleep, then he would be tired and cranky for the rest of the day. He would frequently come out of his room. I tried sending him to bed with books, but if he was mad about the quiet time he actually destroyed a few books. It was terrible.
I seem to have a system that works now. Thomas has to lay in bed quietly and listen to CD's I've selected for him. He knows the rule - if he gets out of bed, he loses the music, and he has to sit in bed with no books and no music - very boring!!!
The best part of all is that the CD's are very educational. I've been trying to teach him a little bit of Spanish, so his music is almost always a Spanish CD. I've used several that I've liked: Spanish for Children and Lyric Language are our favorites. Between the Spanish videos he watches and listening to Spanish during his quiet time, he has actually picked up quiet a bit of Spanish.
My son just turned four, and this system is working out quiet well for us. I began it about a year ago, and it only took a week or two to get everything running smooth. I wish I could say that he is napping, because he still desperately needs a nap. He does occasionally fall asleep while listening to his Spanish tapes, but this seems to be the exception and not the rule. However, he does stay in his room for an hour each day, and that is major progress for us!
Hello!
THis "quiet time" issue is one that I have dealt with for about seven years now: ever since my oldest outgrew her nap. I have always insisted on everyone having a quiet time (even on the weekends), with books and a quiet toy of their choice. We now have five children ages 10 months to 9 years, and I also do childcare. THis is where the real challenge comes in, because I have little people in my house who are not used to this routine and some have a REALLY hard time with it for a while. Here are the things that work for me:
1. I explain to them that everyone needs a quiet time to have a break from each other and have some nice peaceful time alone. (I make sure everyone is either in a room alone or if it's a busy day and I run out of rooms, I have to get creative and tuck them into cozy corners here and there, where they can't see each other.)
2. I explain that it needs to be really quiet so the little ones can actually fall asleep.
3. If one child is having a particularly hard time with it, I start them off with a really short time, like ten minutes. THen we gradually stretch it in 5 min. increments, until we have a successful 1/2 hour. THe other kids love it when they get called out of their rooms earlier than they are used to!
4. And the big secret that worked for one of my own children who had a tough time with quiet time, was to give her the kitchen timer, and when it went off, she came and told me that quiet time was over. Having that little bit of control helped her to stop asking me every three minutes, "Is it over yet?"
5. I absolutely HAVE to have quiet time myself during that time. Mostly this is for my sanity. But also, if I'm rustling around, they don't settle the same. It seems like they feel that they are missing out on something going on. When the whole house is very quiet, including me, everybody settles down so much faster.
6. After quiet time, when the little ones are still asleep, I still encourage quiet play. And I find that once they've had quiet time, they're much mellower anyway. THey naturally stay pretty peaceful. And if they get rambunctious before the nappers are up, then it's the perfect time to send them outside for a second bout of fresh air.
I hope these tips help.
Elizabeth
Post a Comment
<< Home