Help
With Your Rule
A Child Who Doesn't Sleep
Dear Holly,
I have a 2 year old daughter and a 2 month old daughter. My 2 years old wakes up at night more than her sister! She wakes up 2 or 3 times and then wants to get up at 6:00am and sometimes earlier. Between both girls I get up at least 4 times, getting only a few hours of sleep. My 2 year old wakes up and calls me over and over until I come, sometimes she will call for a whole hour! She asks for me to sing a song to her, or to get her a kleenex, to get her a drink, or to go potty (which she normally hates doing). We have gone days at a time letting her cry it out, but she will still cry for an hour each time every single night. And now that we have a newborn in the house, I have to get her to stop crying before she wakes up her sister. Somehow I think it's more than just teething. She seems fine during the day. She still has lots of energy, even though she gets only 8 hours of sleep at night. She usually goes to bed really good with no fuss at all. Also, it doesn't matter how long her nap is during the day, she still does the same thing at night. Do you think she is getting enough sleep and is there any way I can get her to sleep through every night?
Labels: 4th P Parent
posted by Holly at 9:54 AM
11 Comments:
I am not a sleep expert and so I can only share with you something I have discovered recently. I have been researching, and have discovered that many things which we don't normally think of as allergies CAN be allergies. I know sleeplessness or too much sleep can both be allergic reactions - most likely to a common food served daily in the family. When I was a littel girl, I slept ALL THE TIME as a result of a vegetable oil allergy. It only makes sense that other allergies and other persons could have the brain affected in another way.
I would highly recommend a book "Is This Your Child" which discusses childhood and teen allergies by Doris Rapp, available thru Amazon.com
I know in my own family right now, we are dealing with allergies - and not just skin and lung reactions, but even learning disabilities- and our reduction of wheat and cow dairy from our diet is helping one of our children go to sleep sooner.
This is just an idea for you, when all other avenues like reduced napping, more exercise, earlier rising time and later bedtimes do not work. God bless you!
Hello,
I have found often times when children are actually overly tired they will have more energy during the day and find it more difficult to sleep at night. Which seems illogical but true.
Perhaps your child is not sleeping peacefully or deeply enough and therefore when she rises in her sleep cycle to a more conscious level of sleep she wakes up completely rather than drifting back down again.
Many things contribute to this waking and unfortunately trial and error is the only way to figure it out. I agree that food allergies should be examined first. We have experienced this in our own family.
I would encourage you to also examine her level of noise, and stimulation throughout the day. Limit television, and keep the house quiet. Some kids thrive in a noisy environment while others are hyper sensitive to sounds, lights, even clothing. This level of activity stays with them constantly.
A very busy, colorful bedroom is often too stimulating for a child. Are there too many things to look at and keep her focused on? Can she see all her toys? Does she listen to music or other gadgets that are supposed to help her sleep? This is often counter-productive. Also if she shares a room with the baby she may be such a light sleeper that simple stirring or breathing/sighing from her sister rouses her from sleep.
You have to figure each child out (which is no small task). I have one child, my oldest, who only began to sleep well once we found him a very comfortable mattress, a soft pillow, super soft blanket and a small fan to circulate air and muffle light noises. My daughter has to sleep in very light clothing with few blankets or she gets too hot and can't sleep at all. Go figure?
God bless you, hope it helps.
Thanks for your comments! About the food alergies - Can kids develop them over time because she never used to do this - she used to sleep 12 hours straight every night. I actually tried taking her off lactose for a month and it didn't make a difference. Can the Doctor test for food allergies or is it just trial and error?
I think that both of my kids wake each other up sometimes even though they are in separate rooms, which I can't really stop from happening.
I usually only let her watch 2 hours of tv and only in the morning before her npa. Do you think that is still too much?
She can't see her toys at night because it's ptich black in her room, and no toys in her crib, so there aren't any distractions. Tonight I'm trying something that Holly suggested - to leave a soft light on and I left some books in her crib to look at if she wakes up, so we'll see how that goes.
We have a woodstove and the house is very dry, so maybe I will also try a humidifier too and then she won't wake up being thirsty.
Ashley
Just wanted to say well done. Your girls are so blessed to have such a devoted mother who is working so hard. God bless.
Hi Ashley
I have found that we can develop allergies over time - and allergies change (altho SOME remain fixed). In reality, with changing allergies it means that there are MANY triggers which tend to pile up until the body can't take any more, and then you tend to show symptoms - but meanwhile, even before symptoms, the body is working hard to 'deal with' all it's triggers.
I still suggest "Is This Your Child" by Doris Rapp as a good book to read.
As per tv - you need to decide for yourself what you consider a reasonable amount of tv viewing time for your children.
And, as for nghttime - I personally HATE sleeping in a pitch black room! So yes, I do recommend a nite light or small lamp, books and a couple of toys accessible, and a glass of water on a bedtable
Hi Ashley!
I had my son when my daughter was 2 1/2 and she had problems with her sleeping at night when her brother arrived on the scene.Sometimes it takes a little while for the older sibling to realize "Hey this baby is STAYING" My daughter would get up with me everytime the baby did and even when she thought she heard the baby (they were in seperate rooms).I think that she just didn't want to be "left out".My once sound sleeper (I could literally vacuum her room when she was a baby taking a nap!) had turned into a very light sleeper.Although I would certainly look into allergies, it might be something that takes a little time to pass.As she comes to grips with the fact that there is another 'baby' in the house she might return to her previous sleep patterns.Lots of cuddles during the daytime and having her 'help' more with the baby might help.These are just suggestions from a mother who has been there.I definitely agree that your children are truly blessed with a mother that cares so deeply for her children and has their best interests at heart!God bless!
Ashley,
I don't know if this will help or not, but it does sound like your daughter might be craving some extra attention from you (which is NOT to say that you are somehow neglecting her!) Just looking at it from her perspective, it looks like she wakes up, thinks, "I want Mom" and then when you come, "What can I do to keep Mom here?" even if it means doing something she hates! Plus, she knows she won't have to share this special night time with a new baby. Mom is all mine!
If I were you, I'd try one of two things. First idea, I've found that my 2 yr old son responds very well to having a lot of warning and explanations about what is going to happen. Ex: I'll get you a kleenex, but you have to go right back to bed. Or if you're rocking her back to sleep, "Okay, Mommy will rock with you a little while longer, then it's bed time." Gradually, you can use this method to "wean" her off of you coming in. Maybe explain at bedtime that you can only come in once, or explain when you come in at night, "Mommy can give you a hug, but I have to go back to bed and so do you..." etc etc
The other (and probably easier) method I would try (and have done with my 2 yr old when our new baby was born) is to let Dad take care of it! He can explain that Daddy comes in at night now, not Mommy. Once she realizes that she can't get Mom, she may just give up altogether.
A word of encouragement just in case you're struggling with this: don't feel guilty for wanting to get sleep...you are the Mom and you need sleep! Plus your daughter needs to learn how to sleep as well. You are doing the right thing.
Like I said, this may help or not, but if your husband is able to give a week of not so good sleep (say a prayer before you ask him over his favorite meal!) hopefully you can work through it.
And again, I want to emphasize that it's not that you're somehow neglecting your daughter. She's two, and the world revolves around her. This is a tough transition! Just some more hugs during the day may be needed!
Best of luck! I just said a prayer for you.
-Karen
P.S. I agree with the previous comment about over-tired children having more energy and having a hard time sleeping. A well-rested child sleeps better!
Hi - I'm mum2twelve and my three year old daughter used to sleep better until baby 12 arrived and then she started waking up more often.
With 12 children I can tell you we have had a variety of sleepers. This may not be something you want to try, it is just what worked for us with children who did not sleep well. We made a small bed in one corner of the room and they could come in when they woke and settle themselves in the little bed. A small foam rubber matress with a sleeping bag can suffice. This way we were disturbed less and they slept better. On occaision, my daughter who will turn 8 this month still asks if she can camp out on the floor. She says "I don't why mummy - but I just fall asleep in a snap when I am in your room and in mine I have to wait a long time. I jsut like being with you!" She actually made the transition to her own bed before her older brother did. He was five before he could make it through the night in his own room and our 10th child, also a boy was five before he could sleep through the night without joining us in our room.
We have found a king sized bed really helps with "sleep overs".
As others have said SLEEP is very important to you as mum! There are lots of good suggestions here. Take a little time to reflect and pray over these ideas and choose the one you think matches your style of parenting and your child's personality best.
GOD Bless and Good luck!
Christi aka mum2twelve
Hey mum2twelve
That is a really good idea. I didn't do it when my kids were little, but this past few months I had a couch in my bedroom - both my 6 and 8 year olds would show up with a balnket and pillow to come sleep on that couch in the middle of the night too! Of course, it was no hassle and they'd take their stuff when they left!
Another thing I have done when they were able to get in and out of their own beds, was say - "Go back to bed - it's not time - but when morning comes, you come into my room and cuddle with me!" And they would go back to bed and come in first thing in the morning.
Response to Ashley...We see a holistic chiropractor who uses muscle testing/applied kinesiology to test for allergies and 'sensitivies'. We have never had to do an elimination diet, because they can tell us without doing so. It has been a godsend, expecially when having nursing difficulties. My son had acid reflux as an infant, and they were able to tell it was nothing in my diet without eliminating a thing. It's stressful enough to even find time to eat with a newborn, much less try an unusual diet. I don't know where you are, but the doctor we see is in NJ. I'm sure there are others out there. We have seen miracles with our kids sinice they've seen him.
Hope this helps.
Here is another idea you might try. My oldest (who is now almost 6)did not sleep through the night until she was 2. Before 2 she was in her crib. Right after her second birthday we moved, and along with that move, we transitioned her to a "big girl" bed. She slept through the night from then on! My husband and I suspect that she might have been too heavy for the crib and it was uncomfortable. We have also done the "camping in mommy and daddy's room" with another child and it does work, as we frequently are not woken up when he comes in.
Post a Comment
<< Home