Help
With Your Rule
Lost Spiritual Director - Now What?
Dear Holly,
First of all, thanks for all you do with the Mother's Rule of Life website. I check it often to gather encouragement and inspiration in working on my rule. My question is about finding a spiritual director. I converted from a protestant background to the Catholic Church almost 5 years ago and have gone off and on to the Opus Dei mornings of recollection in my area for that entire time. I have never had somebody who was officially my "spiritual director", but I would sometimes seek direction from the Opus Dei priest at the mornings of recollection. We recently had a change in priests for Opus Dei and the new priest has a language barrier that prevents him from giving much spiritual direction. We also recently moved to a different area of town
and changed parishes. Our old parish has been pastor-less for the last 4 years, so I did not have anybody I sought spiritual direction from there. Our new parish is very large and thriving, but it has made it harder to get to know the pastor well or to develop a relationship with him that would be good for spiritual direction. I'm looking for suggestions on how to find a good spiritual director and how to establish that relationship. Any help you could offer would be greatly appreciated!
Labels: 1st P Prayer
posted by Holly at 12:05 PM
2 Comments:
When I was in university, my favorite professor/priest was re-assigned to the diocesan office as Chancellor. That meant he was to move to another city. My heart sank. Oh no! What was I to do? I was very attached to him in addition, and I was worried.
I remember curling up in my chair one afternoon and talking to Jesus. "What am I supposed to do if I have no one to direct me?" I queried him. And you know what came back to be? The thought: "OK, Jesus, you'll have to direct me yourself until you find me someone else."
I remember feeling pretty peaceful with the thought that I had just abandoned myself into Christ's arms and that I was now counting on HIM directly to direct me.
I went for a few years with no one else. I would stop occasionally in and talk with a priest here or there, or another practicing Christian, but no other steady director.
But do you know what? What I found was that my heart was being drawn to read certain books, and in doing so, I was getting answers to my exact questions thru these books. It was often uncanny. And sometimes, I would put a book away for a few days, only to feel drawn again, and picking up where I left off, would find an answer to a question that had only just arisen that day! This I only attributed to the guiding presence of the Holy Spirit.
What father would give his child a stone when he asks for bread?
I also found my consecration to Mary and reading books about her helped me a great deal. Mary's whole job is to give birth to Jesus. I counted on that.
And then, at another point in my life, I had no one to talk to, and I truly felt I needed an objective voice I could hear - specifically to help me in the new life situation - so I prayed. I asked Mary to help me get one. And guess what? Within a month, I had a spiritual director.
I think it so important to realize we are not alone on this. We attribute too much importance to our own actions and earthly things.
God Himself holds you in His hands. God Himself has His plan for you. God Himself will direct you if you ask, will provide you with books, a friend, a video or whatever, to lead you on, and when you get to a point you need a sturdy director - you will be shown and told in a 100 ways, and you will pray... and GOD HIMSELF will provide you w ith one.
In the meantime, rest your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal Gods' Will to you. Live what you know to be good and true. Find good books to sustain you. And when you are in need, your loving Father in heaven will provide. Trust in him.
In my experience, many parish priests have little time for individual spiritual direction and, quite frankly, they are not always suited to that ministry. I have had much better luck with the Opus Dei priests in the area. When my first director moved, I asked him to suggest someone else I could see, and I did the same when the next priest moved. We are blessed in the DC area with many Opus Dei priests, which may not be the case in your area. Fr. McCloskey (one of the priests I used to see until he moved) suggests that you find a director by asking around -- finding someone in your parish or neighborhood who is seriously striving for holiness, and asking them for suggestions. (Check out his website for a helpful article on spiritual direction.)
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