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Help With Your Mother's Rule
Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting
help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of
the married vocation.
Ask
Holly: This blog is composed of your questions.Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Notebook page
and I will post questions and answers. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share,
the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique
Mother's Rule.
Holly Pierlot
A Mother's Rule of Life Companion
Establishing Your Practical Rule - Printable Workbook
Where I Can Purchase the Mother's Rule Workbook
Baby Twins & a Mother's Rule
Dear Holly,
I have an unusual situation... I was given your book a week before I gave birth, and loved it, but knowing that I was having a baby, I decided to give myself a little time before I implemented anything. Two weeks after giving birth (I felt great, and was ready to get started soon!) we accepted a foster care placement - another baby we picked up from the hospital, only 1 1/2 days old! Now my dreams of beginning a rule seem VERY far away. My "virtual twins" are 3 & 2 1/2 months old, and I keep thinking that they will get into more of a schedule every day...but I don't know. My hubby and 4 yr old need a clean home, and I have to start homeschooling this fall, anyone with any advice? Sorry to sound desperate, but I feel that the rule is just what my family needs, and I have no idea how to get started with two little ones! Thank you for your time!Labels: 4th P Parent
posted by Holly at 9:57 AM
5 comments
Dealing With Stress
Dear Holly,
A personal struggle that I deal with has to do with eating, but I think the correlation can be made with any weakness. Basically, when I am under stress, or tired, or even bored, my internal reaction seems to be to turn to food (and of course only junk food will do!) and I often end up binging when I am in this state. And then in the morning (nighttime is a definite weak time) I'll analyze the problem, and realize that there was no fruit in that, that I was eating purely out of stress, etc. and that it had nothing to do with hunger or even the pleasure of eating, and I will try to devise ways to counteract this problem. But no matter how much I analyze it, once I am in that 'low state of mind' even though my mind is saying to me, "don't do it, you'll regret it later" I counteract with "I don't care I want it right now" and I succumb. I found a bit of a lightbulb go on with your quote from Fulton Sheen that the sinner needs to prize a good above his sin. But I was wondering if you could elaborate a bit more on this type of situation, and any ways that you have found fruitful in counteracting an ingrained sinful habit.Labels: 2nd P Person
posted by Holly at 9:52 AM
4 comments
About Altering the Rule
Dear Holly,
It seems to me that with small children, and being within the childbearing years, a Rule for myself as well as the children would be constantly changing--my abilities and needs and amount of available time are very different when pregnant, and then when the child is just born, or 6 months old, or two years old. And likewise, it would seem that with the children, their abilities and needs change very rapidly, so what are legitimate chores even 6 months ago, now they can do much more than that. How do you account for all of these changes, and how often are you changing your Rule to include different factors that come up?Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 4:43 PM
3 comments
Time-Schedules VS Progression of Events
Dear Holly,
The first time I attempted a mother's rule, it didn't work out for me, because I had tried to schedule myself to do things at specific times, and I found that with a little baby, even though there were definite consistencies to my day--prayer time and meals, etc.--I could never keep them at the same time each day. I have now begun the Rule again, but have written it out
more as a sequence of events, such as "when I get up, X,Y,Z happens"; "when I nurse, I pray the rosary", etc. and I have found this type of rule to be much more fruitful. So I was wondering what you thought about this, and whether you could clear up my confusion as to doing things at a particular time.Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 8:06 AM
6 comments
It's Taking Too Long!
Dear Holly,
I seem to take lots of time to think about all the aspects of the rule and schedule making and chore charts are taking time. They need revising and I get busy with everyday life. I find I need to stay up late just to be able to work on it. Sometimes til 1 A.M. And then I'm not clear. After we finish up school and we are in summer it will be another schedule to begin to work on.Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 10:58 AM
3 comments
Making Up For Undone Work
Dear Holly,
If there is no time to do chores on a particular night, should we double up the next day? They have a different chore everyday.Labels: 5th P Provider
posted by Holly at 10:44 AM
5 comments
Don't Wanna Be a "Mean Mama"
Dear Holly,
I am struggling a bit with the schedule and chore charts. My first question is " What do you actually say? " What are the actual words you say to your kids to get them going on their chores? I normally have obedient kids. But they seem to be in another world when I say "Chore time!", like they don't think I'm serious! I'll say it's time to do your chores or go do your chores and some do, some don't and some do a little of their chores. Mostly it seems they ignore me. For it to get done I have to become "Mean Mama".Labels: 4th P Parent
posted by Holly at 1:30 PM
7 comments
Help for Slacking Off...
Dear Holly,
It's been almost a year since I first read A Mother's Rule of Life and began my rule. It was great that first couple of months. I noticed such a change. I stopped feeling overwhelmed and my work was getting done. Everyone in the whole house was happier. But I stopped being so faithful to my rule and now I'm afraid I feel almost back where I started. I'm lethargic and want to do it, but I can't seem to 'get into it' . Help!Labels: 2nd P Person
posted by Holly at 10:58 PM
3 comments
Do I Keep my Baby in My Bed to Sleep?
Dear Holly,
I have struggled with both my kids on sleeping arrangements...my daughter slept in our bed till she was almost two (she is in her own room now), but I see myself falling into that pattern with my six-month-old son, and although I love the closeness of nursing to sleep and co-sleeping, I know that it got pretty tough with my daughter and after a certain point, it might not be the wisest decision. I would love a Catholic perspective, so that I don't feel quite so guilty about letting him cry, or whatever may be the case, to get him in the crib at some point.Labels: 4th P Parent
posted by Holly at 2:16 PM
19 comments
How Often to Get to Mass?
Dear Holly,
I'm not sure where to begin... After years of living in chaos, I started bringing my boys to daily Mass 7 days a week. After several months of that, other circumstances led us to cut way back on that, focusing instead on the family & Domestic Church, etc. When my youngest developed some health issues that were taking up a pretty good chunk of time, things started to go a little crazy again.
Last year, after reading your book, I put together a Mother's Rule for myself & our homeschooling life but then hit a wall when myself & my children all went through illnesses this past winter for literally 2 months where we were barely getting the basics done (and sometimes not even the basics!). Now that we have mostly recovered from that, we are approaching the end of the homeschool year, Spring Fever is running rampant, I have tweaked my Mother's Rule but still am having troubles implementing it.
One of my biggest issues is knowing how often is reasonable for us to get to daily Mass amidst spur of the moment doctor appointments that need to be made and various other needs which arise. Things have been so busy here lately that we ended up not getting to daily Mass at all this week and barely getting all the essential errands done...and I haven't even tackled grocery shopping for the week. Any advice???Labels: 1st P Prayer
posted by Holly at 1:39 PM
1 comments
Fasting For Moms
Dear Holly,
Can you tell me what recommendations you might have for a nursing
mother's fasting days? I have focused on cutting out sugary and sweet
things and just drink water instead of any sodas, juices, etc...and
when I'm very brave I try to cut coffee entirely, but by the end of the
day, my head is screaming and I can't function (when I skip coffee,
that is)...hoping you can enlighten me a bit on what Our Lady might me
calling someone in my situation (I have a 3 year old and a 6 mos. old
so far:) to do on days I try to offer some fasting sacrifice.Labels: 1st P Prayer
posted by Holly at 8:34 AM
1 comments
Need a Daily Planner?
Dear Holly,
Your book is awesome, thank you for your personal sacrifices to help other Mom's that are taking their vocation seriously.
I was wondering if you use a planner along with your daily routine or rule (e.g. Franklin planner)? I realize that your rule becomes a large amount of the day but there are appointments, to do lists, etc. to keep track of. If you have created your own could you describe it?Labels: Miscellaneous
posted by Holly at 2:46 PM
2 comments
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