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Help With Your Mother's Rule

Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of the married vocation.
Ask Holly: This blog is composed of your questions.Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Notebook page and I will post questions and answers. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share, the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique Mother's Rule.
Holly Pierlot

A Mother's Rule of Life Companion

Establishing Your Practical Rule - Printable Workbook

Where I Can Purchase the Mother's Rule Workbook


Tuesday, February 22, 2005

When Both Spouses' Personal Needs Conflict

Dear Holly,
I'm not getting much time to myself and it is wearing on me. However, my hard working husband has a time intensive hobby and just asked me for additional one to two more evenings a week to do it. He currently goes at least one evening a week and some time on the weekend. It is a seasonal sport, so it will let up in a couple of months.

But I'm feeling pretty strung out and although I want to say yes, I am rebelling. I don't feel that I'm up to trading babysitting right now. We can't afford a babysitter. I want to die to self, but I am not a good mother and wife when I don't get time to regroup. I've tried stealing sleep time so I can have time after I put the kids to bed, but I am irritable the next day. I know that he will feel resentful if I don't give him the time. And, he does seem happier and more giving when he is able to spend time at his hobby. So, how do I do this?

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posted by Holly at 9:47 PM 1 comments  

Monday, February 21, 2005

Grumbling Children and Cheerful Compliance!

Dear Holly,
I feel myself being drained emotionally and even physically by my children's grumbling. I think that I am a good disciplinarian and generally a very upbeat person. But, my older kids don't seem very joyful. My almost eight year old is the most negative and given to tantrums and comments like "nobody loves me.." for any "no." Whenever I give an order or make a request, I feel myself bracing for the grumbling. It makes me want to put them in school just to get a break from it. I know that our fallen natures rebel from work and from obedience; how do you instill cheerful compliance? I'd also like to spend more fun time with them, however I have found that I am on-task from wake-up until bedtime and that just is maintaining the bare minimum standards of housework, laundry and food preparation. I think that maybe I'm not a very efficient housekeeper.

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posted by Holly at 9:26 AM 2 comments  

Friday, February 11, 2005

Can I 'Assign' Tasks to My Husband? :-)

Dear Holly,
I have a question. I noticed in your sample rule in A Mother's Rule of Life, that you don't have a column for your husband [of chores]. Why is that? There are things that I would love to "assign" to my husband. But perhaps, this is a wrong way to think. I am primarily thinking of when we are trying to get the kids to bed or on weekends.

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posted by Holly at 4:06 PM 3 comments  

Monday, February 07, 2005

When My Husband and I Disagree about Family Size

Hello Holly,
I am almost done with A Mother's Rule of Life and it has already helped so much. I know I will need to go back and attack each of the P's and make my lists, but I can already see fruits just from the few changes I've made this week.
I have a question that I didn't see addressed in the book. You were talking about not getting involved in things like if your husband watches too much TV, and also working on mutual submission. Everything you said make sense, but I did see one qualifier about letting things go, and that was as long as it wasn't a moral issue.
Well, I am dealing with the fact that my husband, also Catholic, has decided four kids is enough and no longer is open to life at all. We just adopted a little boy, but this was a difficult process and he said it was too hard and he won't consider, pray about, or in any way be open to more. Although I am very sad because I do want more, I am most sad because he is so closed to the idea. I feel like our relationship is very strained because I am so hurt by this. Any advice for dealing with this other than the obvious, pray?

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posted by Holly at 8:51 AM 6 comments  

What's the Purpose of Lent?

Dear Holly,
As Lent approaches I am always at a loss to understand what I should be focusing on - what sacrifice(s) and/or extra effort to eliminate sin I should choose and why. In searching the internet I have found nothing to help me prepare for this important time. Can you recommend some reading - either books or internet that could help?
Do you have a standard approach each year? Would some of your readers share their thoughts and plans? Please understand that I'm not talking about "stuff" to do like some of the Catholic culture books and articles recommend for families, but more something to help me decide what to "be."

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posted by Holly at 8:24 AM 5 comments