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Help With Your Mother's Rule

Help With Your Mother's Rule is a forum for women who want trouble-shooting help with their Mother's Rules or about any aspect of the 5 Ps of the married vocation.
Ask Holly: This blog is composed of your questions.Contact me at the address listed on Holly's Notebook page and I will post questions and answers. Please share your unique ideas as well. The more ideas and experience we share, the more successful every mother will be in designing her own unique Mother's Rule.
Holly Pierlot

A Mother's Rule of Life Companion

Establishing Your Practical Rule - Printable Workbook

Where I Can Purchase the Mother's Rule Workbook


Monday, January 31, 2005

When a 'Schedule' Doesn't Work

Dear Holly,
My husband's schedule changes with little notice. As a consequence, I have a lot of trouble getting into a daily routine. I don't even know if he'll be working the weekend until that Friday. Although work is good now, he's also been unemployed for weeks at a time.

I have 6 kids including a three month old. We homeschool, too. I have a general schedule, but it seems like my husband throws it off when he's home during the day. I am not sure how to handle it. If I insist on following the schedule, I can miss out on spending time with my husband. He doesn't slide himself into the routines.

I try to take time to myself when the opportunity presents (this also throws off the schedule), but it is nearly impossible to plan time out for myself. I even have a lot of trouble getting to Confession. However, the thing I am missing most in my rule is time to myself to pray, regroup, and exercise. I feel like the Holly in Chapter one and I can't really see how I can ever be joyful again.

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posted by Holly at 10:48 AM 5 comments  

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

More on Spiritual Direction and Reading

Dear Holly,
I am re-reading your book this week. So many people don't know where to start about getting spiritual direction - for years I haven't been able to even figure out what it means. I finally began to get it when in confession recently I said, "Here are my sins, please tell me where and how to start." It helped when a friend told me she tells the priest her name and a bit of a review so he can remember from the last time. Next time I'll tell him my name so he can get to know me.

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posted by Holly at 1:10 PM 2 comments  

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Recommendations for Spiritual Reading?

Dear Holly,
Your "Thoughts for Mom" section has me reading some new things. What "spiritual reading" would you suggest mother's have in their personal library / read ? If you had to recommend 10 books for this purpose (NOT apologetics/catechism/catholic family activities reading...but real "spiritual direction/interior life/prayer" books), what would they be? (Would you put them in order?)

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posted by Holly at 7:50 PM 3 comments  

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Chastity in Marriage

Dear Holly,
I was reading one of your earlier posts about discerning the right time for pregnancy in cooperation with God's intent. Could you comment on the thought that if God isn't calling a couple to have more children at this time, He's not just calling them to "abstain", but to increase their self-will by practicing the virtue of chastity?

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posted by Holly at 1:45 PM 5 comments  

A Mother's Rule and a Child with Disabilities

Dear Holly,
We are homeschooling our Grade 9th and 6th sons, and also have an 8 yr old daughter who has uncontrolled seizures and autism. She goes to a school, only 5 min from home, for 2 hrs a day for therapies and autism classroom, which is also planned for in my rule.
I am having trouble getting my boys into the rhythm of the schedule. Every week there seems to be a meeting with a therapist or a specialist, or an unpredictable seizure at school which interrupts our school day. This takes priority& I don't usually have a choice of time.
Should I have the boys do their work as best they can while I am gone, and pick up the schedule from where ever we are when I return, hoping at the end of the year we will have covered all the subjects sufficiently? Do you have any suggestions? Thanks to the rule we are not in chaos (I have prayer time, the house looks OK, supper's on the table, schoolwork is mostly completed, my husband is happy). I just feel very unfocused during school time, which affects the boys, I think.

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posted by Holly at 1:20 PM 1 comments  

Deliverance Prayer

Dear Holly,
I was reading the part in your book where you talk about deliverance prayer. I've felt the same kind of emotional turmoil and oppression, scoffing thoughts, etc.- and so often get told pat answers about it. I'm not sure how to go about finding a priest or asking a priest for this kind of assistance. Any advice?

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posted by Holly at 1:15 PM 1 comments  

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Morning Sickness and a Mother's Rule

Dear Holly,
I am wondering if you have any comments or suggestions on living your Rule with morning sickness. I am doing well with my Rule, however, should I be blessed with another pregnancy, I fear that what has happened with my last 3 pregnancies will happen again . I am just so sick and depressed at the beginning of the pregnancy with morning sickness, that it is just purely "survival."
It's a big part of our family planning discussions. I KNOW all about sacrifice, mortification, offering it up to God, don't despair......but when it actually happens, I'm paralyzed. I'm asking NOW, because I'm trying to "train myself"....it's a sign to me that I'm just not at that spiritual level, and wonder what I can do.

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posted by Holly at 10:42 AM 7 comments  

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

When a Child Isn't Doing His Part...

Dear Holly,
How do you handle it if a child takes longer to get chores done (due to dawdling..they had ample time to complete it)? I talked to one of my children today about this, as the rest of us were waiting on him to start our morning family prayer time. It wasn't a big deal, just a little detail , but I thought I'd ask about it.

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posted by Holly at 11:48 AM 4 comments  

Schedule "Times" - General or Exact?

Dear Holly,
I have a quick question about my rule. Do you follow the rule time guidelines exactly? Or do you just use these to give a flow to your day and keep the time slots as a general guide? I find we're doing well for the most part. But was just wondering how to handle it when we get a little behind.

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posted by Holly at 11:40 AM 1 comments  

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Can Working Moms Have a Mother's Rule Too?

Dear Holly,
I work outside of the home. We don't have the financial freedom to have me stay at home. So, I spend my days working, my evenings doing laundry and hosuework and cooking and cleaning, and then my husband wants my time too, but there is very little left of me. I am just so tired. I have just ordered your book. My question is, can working mothers have a rule of life too? Would it work for me too?

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posted by Holly at 9:09 AM 2 comments  

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Overcoming Resentment of Husband's 'Freedom'

Dear Holly
I have really enjoyed reading your book. I am wondering if you could further address how you overcame resenting your husband's freedom? This is a stumbling block of mine sometimes. Was your Mother's Sabbath the solution, or did other parts of your rule contribute to your change of heart?

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posted by Holly at 10:59 AM 3 comments  

Monday, January 03, 2005

Experiencing an Ironic Inertia about a Mother's Rule

Dear Holly,
I have had your words rattling around in my head for months. The first time I read your book, I did so in one sitting, and knew then the impact it would have on my life - if I let it. It has brought some order to my life already, but it has also carried a certain ironic inertia along with it. I am starting a MROL group where I live with some other mothers because I have heard that this inertia feeling is a common experience with some moms after they read it. Was it for you? And is it still?

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posted by Holly at 9:27 AM 3 comments  

Sunday, January 02, 2005

A Mother's Rule for Dads Too?

Dear Holly,
I purchased your book for my wife for her birthday. We read it to each other and are trying to put together a rule of life for ourselves and our family. We particularly like the way you relate all of the mundane things we need to do in life to God's vocation for us. Thank you for making a difference in our lives...

One question: does your husband have a rule of life, and if so, how is it different or similar to yours? It seems to me that the 5 Ps (in the order set out in your book) could equally apply as well to fathers, with the substance of the 5th P being different of course. Do you have any suggestions for Dads who are working on their rules and trying to help their wives with theirs?

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posted by Holly at 3:53 PM 9 comments  

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Can Our Work Hinder Contemplation?

Dear Holly,
This year I've really felt the Holy Spirit telling me to be available to my kids (just like in your book!) and I did this during Advent by doing much of our schoolwork together in group activities. It was a good thing as it gave us a common point of interest, and it gave me more personal time with my children, where we could discuss and I could hear their thoughts. When they all work independently, I am just not as in touch with each one of them.

But at the same time, I am so attracted to God and contemplation, and I know I need to free my mind and heart up to make room for God. I have been looking at the possibility of doing all my school planning in advance in order to free my mind in this area too. But if I go this route, by planning all the children's subjects individually, I feel I won't really be able to do what I feel drawn to - spending more personal time with my kids. The bottom line question is - I fear that my time with the kids will fill my mind so much that I won't be free enough, in mind or heart, for God.

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posted by Holly at 5:29 PM 2 comments