Help
With Your Rule
Struggling With Scrupulosity
Dear Holly,
Have you ever struggled with scrupulosity, or have any tips for someone who does? I never have, but recently read something from Sr. Faustina about a nun being in hell for breaking silence, and have been struggling ever since. (Hopelessness about attaining heaven for myself and my children). I think this is also coinciding with low thyroid and some postpartum stuff, but is still very difficult. Any thoughts?
Labels: 2nd P Person
posted by Holly at 7:58 AM
4 Comments:
Scrupulosity is actually a spiritual disease , and has been known as a specifically "Catholic" problem. I believe it stems from an uprbinging which focused too much on rules and regulations as opposed to relationship. In my family, this abusive way of teaching morality caused me to rebel and then afterward, to deal with scruples too - for quite a while.
First, I think we need to realize that Christ came to earth to help us get to know him and live in a love relationship with him. It was those who focused on the 'law' alone whom Jesus considered 'blind guides'. It is getting to know Christ personally which is gong to be a healing measure - you will have to ask Him to reveal Himself to you personally. Reading the gospels themselves will help too.
And in your particular case, I would also pray a novena of some sort to St Faustina for her interecession to heal you from that jolting little story...I am sure there was much more to it... perhaps even thinking reasonably about the whole thing - we know full well that God doesn't 'send' anyone to hell anyway - hell is a result of our own choice. So, even if it were true what Faustina said, that nun would have had to have considered her breaking silence a complete mortal sin, done with intent to sin, as all mortal sins are - and wanting to sin! Sheesh! And even then - mortal sin must have objective grevious matter.
We need to consciously change our image of God as a judge who sits in the sky waiting for us to make a single wrong move to condemn us... And to do this - I believe we need to challenge ourselves intellectually, based on Revelation, as well as examine if our pattern of understanding about God really isn't just a reflection of parent-images from our childhood. As our parents behave, we subtly attribute these aspects to God's 'parenthood' too.
Lastly - a number of other things - I'd get to that doctor and get that thyroid and hormonal situation checked. These physical issues play a great role in emotional health, and are not something to let slide. And I would also get thee to a priest! :-) Discuss this scruple with him and perhaps he will be able to help you via discussion and/or a blessing with Holy Oil.
Prayers...:-)
Prior to the coming of Christ, the old testament laws were the people's only way to God. Through obeying the laws, sacrifice, etc., people maintained a relationship with God and thus got to Heaven. WHen Christ was crucified all of that changed. Christ is the new covenant--the new promise. The promise that through FAITH we get to Heaven. Not by any other way. The Good Lord knows that none of us can earn our way to Heaven. Why do you think He sacrificed His only Son? It is called Grace for that very reason. Grace means "unmerited favor". We don't deserve it but we are given it anyway just for believing it is so. Christ said "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes unto the Father except by me." This means there is only one road to Heaven and that is through Christ. For further reading refer to John 3: 1-21. As Catholics, we tend to get caught up in "rules": Masses of obligation, confessions, Lent, fasting, etc. But we need to keep our perspective and realize that the road to Heaven is much simpler and sweeter and requires one simple act: BELIEF.
I also struggle with scrupulosity, I tend to be a perfectionist and so I have started to really examine my thoughts, when I am being hard on my self I ask if it is a just critisim (like I was lazy today) if it is I try to change the behavior. But I have had to take any thought which was attatched to fear of going to hell to the confessional. True scrupulosity does not generaly lead you to the confessional, and I had to change that. So when ever I start to be very down on my self, I confess. I don't always know what I am going to confess before I get there, so when that happenes I just tell the priest what has been happening and he helps me with the words. For the first fews months of doing this I did confess at least once a week, sometimes more, but the grace that has come from the confessional has gone a very long way to changing my outlook on my own sinfulness. For me I had to learn that scrupulosity was not a desire for holiness, it was a desire to lie to myself, it put fake problems and sins before my eyes so I could not look at the real problems and sins. For anyone who strugles with scrupulosity I recomend time in the confessional - its a sacrament of healing, and Holy was correct in saying the scrupulosity is a spiritual desease. Go see the Physician!
Actually, to further clarify, I would say that we get to heaven thru GRACE - which is always a free gift from God, merited for us by Jesus Himself while we were still sinners... Our assent in faith is how we let Christ apply this to us...
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