Help
With Your Rule
A Rule for Working Mothers
Dear Holly,
First of all, thank you for your wonderful book, and the web site. First I thought the book was going to be one of those very depressing reads that describe the perfectly-organised, perfectly-happy life of a home-schooling family. But when you got on to the five Ps and the problems you had had when developing your rule, I really got interested.
I'd like to ask if you know of any working mothers who have successfully adopted a MROL? I would be very grateful if you have some ideas on getting it to work, or have heard something from your readers. It is very difficult to put the provider role in the 5th position when you're workin eight hours a day and commuting one. And after work, there's all the housework to do. Sometimes I really feel totally overwhelmed. At the moment it really isn't an option for me to stay at home. My husband works too, but I'm earning twice as much as him and if I quit my job we'd be living on state benefits, which I believe wouldn't be right either. There are nice arrangements here in Finland for staying at home with children under the age of three, but our kids are 10, 8 and 5. Our fourth child was stillborn in October last year.
Labels: 5th P Provider
posted by Holly at 2:14 PM
1 Comments:
Two things strike me very strongly here:
I think it is necessary to see clearly that there can indeed be a rule of life even if you are a working Mom - otherwise, no male fathers in the history of the church who worked outside of the home would ever have been able to have a rule - and yet history is full of the working laity having rules of life.
I think also, given your additional and long outside-the-home work hours, a mother's rule would be indispensable.
Remember too that, as a homemaker, I also homeschool my children full time; and do some writing and speaking; as well as the weekly music ministry for my parish; undertake home renovations; plant, weed, harvest and preserve my garden; in addition to all my housework. And a rule works just as well for me. I think we need to be carefule about placing an artificial distinction between the busy-ness level of mothers' work either inside or outside the home. Is there any mother we know who isn't busy? :-)
So, I would still be going through all the questions as a working mom just as if I was staying home. With your additional income, perhaps you would be able to afford to pay for services & resources that the at-home mother must do herself, and this would certainly help with your time allotments.
Remember too that the priorities of God, and husband and children can't be put on the backburner for the mom who works outside the home any more than for the mom who works inside.
And this brings me to my second point which really struck me - you mentioned that even having a 'schedule' of sorts listing everything that had to be done, helped.
Here, I would also remind you that, no matter how simple nor how complex your daily practical rule, the heart of the rule is your relationship with God - your ability to reach interior recollection, and live an interior life while still fulfilling all your duties.
It is the heart of the rule which is the most important part and the schedules/chore charts etc are all there to help get your mind de-cluttered, your duties fulfilled, so you can get to the deeper relationships instead of being consumed by the externals.
So instead of a mother's rule being an exception for working mothers, I think it would be a necessity really, and where there's a will, there's a way.
For any working mom readers - if you care to share your experiences, feel free!
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