Help
With Your Rule
Time-Schedules VS Progression of Events
Dear Holly,
The first time I attempted a mother's rule, it didn't work out for me, because I had tried to schedule myself to do things at specific times, and I found that with a little baby, even though there were definite consistencies to my day--prayer time and meals, etc.--I could never keep them at the same time each day. I have now begun the Rule again, but have written it out
more as a sequence of events, such as "when I get up, X,Y,Z happens"; "when I nurse, I pray the rosary", etc. and I have found this type of rule to be much more fruitful. So I was wondering what you thought about this, and whether you could clear up my confusion as to doing things at a particular time.
Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 8:06 AM
6 Comments:
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that type of rule. In fact, it might be even more productive for mothers who struggle with getting out of bed on time or who have little ones. In fact, I think it would apply very nicely to any type of family life.
What you are talking about is a natural progression of events as opposed to strict times. This allows for far more flexibility than the timed schedules - so much so in fact, that I am going to seriously ponder this for our family - altho I must say, while we have the times bascially in place, our familiarity with the rule after 5 years often leads to a 'progression' schedule anyway.
A great idea! Thanks for bringing it up.
You know, as I have thought about this more and more over the past couple of days, I see tremendous validity in it.
While initially the timed schedules totally 'trained' me to be faithful to my daily duties - and I needed that very seriously - as I have become more faithful to my vocation over time, this flexibility of a 'progression of events' schedule seems to me to be a valid "Stage Two". For others, who are not as slack and reluctant as I was initially, and being more mature, I can see them hopping right into this type of practical rule.
I want to say 'thank you' for the idea. It is a blessing to have mothers work together to assist each other in their vocations. Keep on posting.
I just wanted to say that for me, I was the opposite. I have 5 children ages 7 and under. When I made up my Rule with strict times I found myself getting stressed if we were 10 minutes behind. Then heaven help me if the baby needed a diaper change in the middle of it all. When I took out the time slots and put in the progressive order, my Rule went more smoothly and I was less stressed. I also had to make sure that I knew exactly what my essentials were, so that when kids get sick, or the unexpected happens, I can just work in "essential" mode and know that tomorrow is another day. The Five P's really helped me with this. For example, parenting is a higher priority than provider (which house work falls under) so if my kids are in need, then I let the unessential aspects of my housework go so that I can care for my kids with my whole heart and soul. They need me more than the floors!!!
So basically Marie, you are saying that the timed schedules did nothing but cause you stress - and that the progression thing worked much better fromt he beginning?
I can see this. I guess then we have another 'alternative' way of 'scheduling' a rule of life - which makes much sense - your point about needing to know the 'essentials' - very important!
Flexibility with faithfulness - the key. Good!
A check-back after an experiment!-
I've tried the progression schedule for almost two months now - and do you know what? I have found I skip things without really noticing it! And, given the lack of a timed-start to things, I have found less ability to offer every moment to God because I got more distracted. Hhhmmmm!
So, I am heading back to a timed one - regular get up time, regular prayer times, regular meal times, and regular houseclean/weekly routine times. And then I'll get in all my prayers, and do my finances regularly on Friday like I used to do!
So - while a timed schedule may not be for everyone, so too, a progression schedule is not for everyone either! While I have enjoyed the freedom of a progression, I just found I wasn't really getting all my prayer in every day, nor all my weekly duties, and I found myself interrupting my children to call them to re-do their chores - interesting!
Holly
One other thing - one can always adjust their timed-schedules too - to allow more time in each section for the accomplishment of all duties in a more relaxed fashion. If I was constantly running late because of an unexpected diaper change, I would probably have to strict a schedule - try adding 15 minutes (or more) to each general category - like meal times, tidy times, - and see if that doesn't help.
I think it can be approached, as discussed in MROL, as a period of 'assessment' - realizing that it will take us time to find our proper flow - one which will accomplish our duties and still lead to a sense of recollection - and that if something isn't working, we are probably being too rigid and need to allot more time and cut down on superfluities...
:-)
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