Help
With Your Rule
Help for Slacking Off...
Dear Holly,
It's been almost a year since I first read A Mother's Rule of Life and began my rule. It was great that first couple of months. I noticed such a change. I stopped feeling overwhelmed and my work was getting done. Everyone in the whole house was happier. But I stopped being so faithful to my rule and now I'm afraid I feel almost back where I started. I'm lethargic and want to do it, but I can't seem to 'get into it' . Help!
Labels: 2nd P Person
posted by Holly at 10:58 PM
3 Comments:
A couple of things...
Last year I was talking to a couple of mothers who were very excited about the 'schedule' element of a rule of life because it appealed to their innate sense of organization - they liked making schedules - so much so that I wondered if a rule would satisfy them for very long, for once a basic schedule has been reasoned out, there's not too much organizing left to do!
And here, I was trying to point them toward the deeper realities of our vocation. We're not meant to spend our time thinking about schedules and when we're going to do things. The schedule is a tool to bring order to our lives , but most importantly, to free our minds from lesser concerns so we can focus on more important things.
I hardly ever 'think' about housework anymore, altho at one point in my life, that is what I never stopped thinking of! Now that our whole family has become more accustomed to cleaning up and doing chores, we don't have the same 'attention' to the charts as we did in the beginning. I think that's a good thing.
So while it is important to have 'time' allotted to those 5 Ps - like time for our prayer and time for our husband and children, and a set meal routine and when we'll tidy the house and do our grocery shopping - while the times set aside for these things are generally necessary and important to have as a routine in even a relaxed fashion - the KEY of a mother's rule is the spiritual meaning within the vocation. For this, you might want to re-read the "Spirit of The Mother's Rule" appendix.
Go - tidy up your house. Do your chores after supper. Put the laundry on. Stop fretting about it and pick up your boot straps. Conversion is a split-second-decision away. Ask the Holy Spirit, and then 'start'!
But then! Realize that what is most important about a Mother's Rule of Life are the relationships within our vocation.
Love God!
Love yourself by trying to do what is best for you!
Love your husband and be personally 'present' to him, in mind and heart when you talk in the evenings!
Love your children - stop what you are doing ; give them your full attention; smile at their wondrous little faces (even if mischevious and impish or rebellious)!
Love Love Love! This is the heart of your rule.
And if you see clearly that your heart is growing in love of God and neighbour - if love is permeating your thoughts and actions more and more - then don't sweat the small stuff. Get your mind off your housework and onto God and family. Put the lesser P in it's place by just going and cleaning up. Then take the time to love and serve Christ through your humble family relationships.
I do all for you, because You ask it, out of love for You Lord! And God loves you!
Thank you Holly for this reminder to let Love be our guide, motivator and source.
I often forget that God "is" Love -- it's not a concept or a warm fuzzy feeling. Love is a communion of Persons -- the Trinity. And we have the awesome task of imaging that communion within our families.
Schedules, rules etc. . .are means to this communion, not the main goal. I often hyper-focus on having the house as clean as possible or having a project done "just right" at the expense of Love. At some point, I'm usually confonted by one of my college aged daughters, (which is a huge grace) -- "What's it all about Mom?"
I'd like to share a bit from the Holy Father's address this past Holy Trinity Sunday -- "And love is always a mystery, a reality that surpasses reason without contradicting it; what is more, it exalts its potentialities."
Love, according to Benedict XVI, exalts reason's potentialities -- the rules, schedules, charts etc. . . They should always be the servant of Love.
Bingo! You GOT IT! That's IT! Yeah!
And that's why the "Appendix" of A Mother's Rule of LIfe is the most important part in my opinion!
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