Help
With Your Rule
Dealing With Stress
Dear Holly,
A personal struggle that I deal with has to do with eating, but I think the correlation can be made with any weakness. Basically, when I am under stress, or tired, or even bored, my internal reaction seems to be to turn to food (and of course only junk food will do!) and I often end up binging when I am in this state. And then in the morning (nighttime is a definite weak time) I'll analyze the problem, and realize that there was no fruit in that, that I was eating purely out of stress, etc. and that it had nothing to do with hunger or even the pleasure of eating, and I will try to devise ways to counteract this problem. But no matter how much I analyze it, once I am in that 'low state of mind' even though my mind is saying to me, "don't do it, you'll regret it later" I counteract with "I don't care I want it right now" and I succumb. I found a bit of a lightbulb go on with your quote from Fulton Sheen that the sinner needs to prize a good above his sin. But I was wondering if you could elaborate a bit more on this type of situation, and any ways that you have found fruitful in counteracting an ingrained sinful habit.
Labels: 2nd P Person
posted by Holly at 9:52 AM
4 Comments:
I think you are totally right - your desire to eat is just the same as any other weakness other people go through - the smoker, the alcoholic, etc. And first off, I think it's necessary to realize you're no worse than anyone else in this world. We all share the same human nature.
That said, I can only share with you what I think, as I am not a professional or expert in these things.
To me, food or any other such reaction to stress is just that - a reaction, and an emotional one at that. It points to a deeper issue(s), as you have pointed out. The food in itself is not the main issue but the symptom. And here we then are faced with a 2nd P issue, aren't we? But not to fear - nor to judge yourself.
Regarding your rule, that is why I mentioned in MROL and why Chautard in "Soul of the Apostolate" , talks about allowing plenty of time for the accomplishment of duty - to make us able to function in peace and at our own pace as opposed to rushing and having life hectic. And for me, I also realized we live in a hectic culture - our expectations of ourselves are very severe, very busy.
In our culture, people feel good about themselves because of what they 'have' - so you see the accumulation of riches. If not this, then they feel good about themselves by what they 'do' - so you see people become very 'task-oriented' and high on 'accomplishment'. Now while having and doing are not bad, they can be 'used' to make up for something in a person's life.
But I think God wants us to be at peace with who we 'are' - and this is a state of 'being' - an existential thing. We aren't used to just 'being' - we feel guilty if we don't 'do' much today, etc...
I have to recommend a book to you - I have wanted to write up a review for my site about it constantly as I read, but felt I should wait until I finish it... but noentheless - it will address, from a Catholic perspective, how to 'be' - and how to allow your 'person' to come to peace. It's called "Feeling and Healing Your Emotions" by Catholic psychiatrist Dr. Conrad Baars. I got my copy through Living His Life Abundantly Ministries ((Johnette's).
It is, in my opinion, the 'missing link' in Catholic teaching - dealing with the core of our person, the 'heart', which we know is the seat of personality, the source of emotions, and the place where God lives - and I believe it ought to be read by every Christian in the world, especially by moms, for both personal reasons and in raising their children.
So - in the meantime until you can get hold of this book - try to lay back and not overschedule - try to get out in nature a bit more and focus on a more restful approach to daily life; try to attend to the persons in your life as opposed to the tasks - and then 'study' that book. In fact, take it with you to prayer and let God lead you through it. I believe it has your answers.
Look at www.lightweigh.com for more information about this Catholic Bible Study and Spiritual Growth Weight Loss Program. I have found it so helpful in overcoming my overeating and obsession with food! If you can't find one in your area, consider starting one at your parish. It has helped me so much in my spiritual life, not to mention that I have lost weight (this becomes an additional benefit, instead of the end result. Growing closer to Jesus is the main goal, by turning to Him instead of food.
thank you for suggesting lightweigh. While the program looks very good, for me personally, my weight isn't a problem, since I normally eat well and exercise. I'm sure I could really benefit from some of the principles looked at with lightweigh, though, so if anyone is interested in posting them, I would be very appreciative!
I also am not overweight, eat right and exercise, but yet have found tremendous growth in the lightweigh principles. I depend on food too much and turn to it in times of stress, confusion, boredom, etc, when I SHOULD be turning to Jesus. When I want that second helping, that 3rd cookie, those licks from the cooking spoon....I pull a bead on my sacrifice beads (st. therese of liseux)and offer that denial of food for my husband, for our priest, for a woman considering abortion, or for a my friend's mom who has breast cancer, etc....whatever is on my list of people to sacrifice for. When I find myself thinking about food during the day, I go to my box and pull out a novena card, read the bible, memorize a verse...anything to turn my heart toward Jesus instead of food. When I find myself dreading kid's bathtime, I pull a bead and "offer it up". You can see how all of this links to the MROL. By following a mother's rule, your whole day becomes a prayer. By filling your hearthole with Jesus instead of food, your act of self-denial becomes a prayer. There are also other principles of actual EATING with the Lightweigh....eat only when you are really hungry (a grumbling hungry), eat only a fistful (or mugful) of food (to shrink your stomach), leave a bite for your guardian angel, prayer, bible study, st. ignatius nightly examenation of conscience. Read about St. Therese's sacrifice beads (which I hang in my kitchen) online. Her sister gave them to her when she was very small. I also use them for my children; they "pull a bead" when they sacrifice for someone, are especially nice, helpful, prayerful. They understand that they are making "presents for God". See also the Catholic Treasure Box Books for St. Therese's story on these.
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