Help
With Your Rule
When Both Spouses' Personal Needs Conflict
Dear Holly,
I'm not getting much time to myself and it is wearing on me. However, my hard working husband has a time intensive hobby and just asked me for additional one to two more evenings a week to do it. He currently goes at least one evening a week and some time on the weekend. It is a seasonal sport, so it will let up in a couple of months.
But I'm feeling pretty strung out and although I want to say yes, I am rebelling. I don't feel that I'm up to trading babysitting right now. We can't afford a babysitter. I want to die to self, but I am not a good mother and wife when I don't get time to regroup. I've tried stealing sleep time so I can have time after I put the kids to bed, but I am irritable the next day. I know that he will feel resentful if I don't give him the time. And, he does seem happier and more giving when he is able to spend time at his hobby. So, how do I do this?
Labels: 3rd P Partner
posted by Holly at 9:47 PM
1 Comments:
It's not always easy to juggle everybody's needs within a family, is it? But I think it's still important to try.
When we reach a point where we feel stressed all the time and feel like we can't take on one more little thing or it will break us, I think it's time to reassess what we're doing. And I think this can happen many times within our lives - not just a 'once-and-for-all' schedule or routine, but an ongoing need to look at what the Lord is presenting us with in the here and now...
Two things come to mind about your question.
If I were you, first, I'd work my way through the 5 Ps in order - prayer life and personal needs must be met in order to ensure we have a healthy self to give to our family. In fact, it might help us become highly efficient in other areas, once we have personal balance in our daily structure.
Secondly, I'd talk to my husband. When it comes to working things out with our man, I think we need to go to the source. I'd be frank - tell him what was on my mind; what my life was like; how I'd like to help but fear I'd be overburdened; and ask him for his insight on how to help both of you achieve better personal balance, as well as mutual balance in activities. We need to let our husbands know what's going on, as well as show them our desire to work toward their needs fulfillment as well.
I think these two things would go a long way toward helping resolve the present situation. That and prayer for God's guidance and strength too...
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