Help
With Your Rule
Experiencing an Ironic Inertia about a Mother's Rule
Dear Holly,
I have had your words rattling around in my head for months. The first time I read your book, I did so in one sitting, and knew then the impact it would have on my life - if I let it. It has brought some order to my life already, but it has also carried a certain ironic inertia along with it. I am starting a MROL group where I live with some other mothers because I have heard that this inertia feeling is a common experience with some moms after they read it. Was it for you? And is it still?
Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 9:27 AM
3 Comments:
By the time I began my Mother's Rule, I didn't experience inertia - I was too desperate! But I did experience a type of emotional pain and strain initially, as I entirely switched my lifestyle in one big 'event'. As you know from MROL, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone - slow and steady would be more prudent, (in hindsight)!
But your inertia - an interesting concept. Perhaps it has to do with the way you are looking at it? The thoughts which run through our minds affect our willpower and our emotional response. If we find ourselves unmotivated or overwhelmed at the prospect of drawing up an entire rule, perhaps it's because we're being too global and focusing too much on the work it will take. I'd re-read the Getting Determined chapter.
But there would be nothing wrong with forcing ourselves to start with the first P - to come up with what we think a basic prayer life is, and determine what types of prayer we are drawn to, and set up these times in our daily lives. Do it over a coffee and some chocolate chip cookies this evening!
Then, ever so slowly, after the first thing is a habit, work on the next thing. They say it takes 33 days for a habit to be established. So you can afford to go slow. The next two years are going to pass, one way or another - why don't you make it a goal to have something accomplished by the time two years is up?
At the same time, I think your idea of a mother's group for mutual support is an excellent idea. Sometimes when internal motivation is lacking or weak, we need the external deadline others can set for us, and the support and dialogue to help us through.
In addition, there could be many reasons why you're not ready for a rule. Perhaps God wants you to ponder it for a while, and continue to roll it around in your heart and head. There is a time and season for everything.
It could also be that your person needs some attention, and a good visit or two to a good priest for discussion would help. It could also mean you need some interior obstacles healed - as any wounds within us prevent us from doing what we know is best for us.
When in doubt, seek counsel. Talking it out with a good priest, your husband, a good friend, and a support group, will help you discover what it is that is blocking you. I will keep you in my prayers.
I hesitate to share my thoughts here, because I'm speaking for myself, personally. But perhaps it might give some insight into what you are experiencing.
I do think there can be a sort of "inertia" with MROL or anything that leads us down the path of holiness. I see it as a sort of battle between my self (selfishness, pride,laziness, vices) and my desire to do God's will. Even when doing something as simple as making a visit to church, it always seems to take more time, be too inconvenient or whatever. And then when I actually do it, I wonder why I hadn't done it sooner as it was so beneficial and I reaped such graces, consolations, joy and the like.
Perhaps too, it is part of a spiritual battle where we are being discouraged from progressing. Today was a day that everything seemed to go different from what I had planned, and this evening I felt grouchy and discouraged. I found myself doubting, is this MROL really worth it? Are things really that difficult and disorderly that I can't get by without it? Will it really be that beneficial down the road? I prayed. And I realized that these were temptations for me. Temptations to despair, to give up, to turn back. But I think this is really an indication of the growth and holiness that MROL offers. If it weren't such a good thing, such a holy path, I don't think I'd be so beseiged by these temptations. So I dug in a little deeper and renewed my resolve to stick with it. To keep working on my rule and keep moving forward, just trusting that the rewards will be there.
I do think a MROL support group would be a great way to find encouragement and support.... a wonderful idea!
Blessings and prayers,
Diane
I do think that inertia has to do with a physical battle. Though inertia and battle are terms almost antithetical nonetheless I agree with you, Diane. It is a clear sign of changes being created and the visceral response the evil one would have to them. Unfortuantely the battlefield is in my mind and on my heart. Where else? I expect. I also see how this ties to Holly's advice to seek counsel or as Sirach counseled find in me your battleshield, whether it is by fellowship or a priest or for me, probably both. I can't say enough about the good things that have come of this, but there is also a fatigue imbued as well and quietly a certain kind of fear steeming from the understanding that these changes MUST be made to come to holiness and communion with Christ.
Hope
Post a Comment
<< Home