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With Your Rule
Can Our Work Hinder Contemplation?
Dear Holly,
This year I've really felt the Holy Spirit telling me to be available to my kids (just like in your book!) and I did this during Advent by doing much of our schoolwork together in group activities. It was a good thing as it gave us a common point of interest, and it gave me more personal time with my children, where we could discuss and I could hear their thoughts. When they all work independently, I am just not as in touch with each one of them.
But at the same time, I am so attracted to God and contemplation, and I know I need to free my mind and heart up to make room for God. I have been looking at the possibility of doing all my school planning in advance in order to free my mind in this area too. But if I go this route, by planning all the children's subjects individually, I feel I won't really be able to do what I feel drawn to - spending more personal time with my kids. The bottom line question is - I fear that my time with the kids will fill my mind so much that I won't be free enough, in mind or heart, for God.
Labels: 1st P Prayer
posted by Holly at 5:29 PM
2 Comments:
First of all, this is an excellent question from a thoughtful soul. I have many things to say in response.
1. Before my rule, all I thought about was housework; what I had to do, and what I wasn't getting done. My mother's rule freed my heart and mind from a hundred routine concerns and details, but this, so that I could be more available to my children.
The crux of emptying ourselves of concerns is to eliminate unnecessary thoughts - there is no real need to re-think all the chores that happen around supper. Why think about this all the time? Figure it out once, and post a list, and you will never have your mind full of this stuff again. For me, I thought about housework way too much before my rule. Now, I barely think about it.
2. The purpose of a rule of life is relationship - with God, husband, children, and others. By organizing what can be organized, we open ourselves to more personal time with our families and God. This is what God wants! That you feel drawn to personal time with your children is exactly what your vocation is all about!
3) Contemplation is something God does, not something we do. We can desire it, because it just means God comes in a conscious way. But we don't control this, for it is a gift. The only thing we can do is dispose ourselves to it.
But the main way to dispose ourselves to it is to DO GOD'S WILL!!! This means fulfilling the responsibilities of our vocation, and primarily, by being free enough from small concerns to love. As St Teresa of Avila says, our job is to tend the garden. If the King comes for a visit, great! We wouldn't want him to come and not be doing our jobs.
But if we are working at our gardens, and still the King doesn't come, we still are supposed to keep working on the garden.
So while our hearts may long with desire for God, and this is a good thing, we must still focus on what we can do - our jobs as Moms! We leave our spiritual state and the amount of communication with God in God's hands. (Check out the "Prayer- Going to Meet Jesus" article on this site)
4. And we can do God's Will ( with all the things we must still think about) by focusing our intent on God - by being available to our children in personal time 'because' God wants this of us, and is inspiring it within us.
5. We will never stop thinking totally in our vocation, but we can routinize whatever we can - all those things we don't really need to focus on all the time. Then, with what remains, we can do all things for God and offer all things with Jesus to the Father.
On a final note, I have had the most profound experiences of God while inthe midst of working with my children. I remember being wrapped in God while I was wallpapering a room with all my kids talking and laughing at the same time. Weeding the garden, playing cards with the children - there is nothing here which hinders God's coming. Nothing.
I would also like to add just a little comment to yours
Holly.I discovered ,through the grace of God , that it was important for me to really spend time with my children to just listen, observe, and talk only when necessary. At these times I was given to seeing and thinking of our Lord while He was that age. This was a form of contemplation for me and still is and it is so very pleasing to our Lord. God Bless your endeavours to become closer to Him , you are on the right path.
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