Help
With Your Rule
Exceptions to the Rule...
Dear Holly
I am a homeschooling Mom of six, ages 15 yrs to 15 months. I have a rule written up for our family but implementing it seems almost impossible. There are constant disruptions in our life, and I don't know how to use a schedule when exceptions seem to be the rule. For example, my husband's work schedule is on a 5 week rotation, of which he works 7 nights, arriving home at 7:00 am. He likes to have the kids sleep in on those mornings so we can have a few moments alone. This changes the entire flow of our day and I never fully recover our schedule, but I want to please him and be there for him too. Lately we've been having colds and coughs and I haven't been getting much sleep, so it makes it that much harder to get everyone up and going on time in the morning. Any words of encouragement or inspiration would be helpful.
Labels: About a Rule of Life
posted by Holly at 8:27 AM
4 Comments:
First off, I would say initially that , if we have a 'rule' worked up but it isn't suiting our family, then we haven't finished our rule! :-) We may have what we consider an objectively perfect schedule which we could follow perfectly if we were single women, but it may not account for all the realities of our family life. And here, like in the book, I would encourage you to continue fine-tuning your rule.
What is working and why? What isn't working and why? What can you arrange for those days when hubby works all night - can you adjust the schedule to cover basics, but at different time frames? Having a 'second' optional schedule, which includes a later rising time?
So too, when you have a sick family, there ought to be in place a thought-out plan to deals with basics during such times -- as I mentioned in MROL, I had a 'maintenance mode' schedule - things which I considered had to be done even on sick days, but where we dumped the time frames. Forseeing these types of inevitable occurances in family life, we can think ahead and plan how we can cover the basics, even when flu season hits.
Also, you might have a built-in way to handle 'routine stress' - we can get stressed when there is no end to the same scedule in the same way every day of the year. I have to include variety within my rule. Two afternoons a week, my children visit or we have children over. Three mornings we have Mass. So I cannot arrange my schedule to make it the same every day - not in all ways. When my husband has a day off school or he gets a Blizzard-Day holiday, we don't follow the norm, but take advantage of the break in schedule to refresh.
So basically, I have my prayer times and my meal & attached chore routines the same every day. These are posted in the kitchen because they are constant.
But the chunks of time in between those essential tasks can be altered day to day. So Monday, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons we school until 3, but Wednesday & Friday afternoons the kids go out.
If on my 3 'regular' days someone drops over, or we have a doctor's appointment, or I need to mend a pile of pants, I am free to do so within that chunk of afternoon time. When 'exceptions' cease, we just continue on as before. I have a daily 'school schedule', different for each day, posted in the classroom, and it is something I alter regularly.
Like me, your children are also mostly old enough to help with the little ones if 'your' work calls you to something different, as well as your older ones can continue on with their independent school work. I would schedule in this too -- what can my children do independently and what do they need me for? Chunk the Mummy-time school work in the morning (or whatever) which frees you in the afternoon.
The key then is to continue to analyze what is happening and why; schedule your basics only, and leave chunks of time open for 'options' - so an afternoon might look like this:
1:30-4:00 Schooling; visitors; farm work; sewing; garden; projects; finances; etc etc etc.
Then, you can plan each evening what will take place in this time frame. Also, enlist the skills of your older children by having them take over the little ones if you are called away for a bit.
I am a homeschooling Mom of 5 (the eldest, who is 5, is the only one formally homeschooling at this time). I burned out on several early attempts at a "Rule" when I first read MROL. My schedule has evolved from having every 5 minutes of my day scheduled, to having basic tasks that have to be done in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. The key is adapting it day to day to your needs.
I no longer worry that I didn't get the dishes done right after breakfast. We had breakfast - that was the important part. The dishes can wait until I have a few minutes.
Basically, this is my morning routine:
Get up, shower & get dressed.
Wipe bathroom surfaces quickly.
Put in a load of laundry and empty the dishwasher. Pray Morning Prayer with husband before he leaves for work.
Do my exercise for about 15 minutes.
Change 3 youngest children's diapers & make sure everyone's dressed.
Get breakfast for myself & kids.
Start school with eldest while others play (I can nurse the baby while I do this, usually).
Make lunch & feed kids & myself.
Husband calls at Noon and we pray the Angelus together.
Afternoon:
3 youngest (ages 3, 1.5, and 3 months) take naps after diaper change while 2 older girls (5 & 4) have quiet time.
Pray Rosary (at least a decade or a chaplet).
Do dishes and put laundry in dryer.
Finish up school and story time with kids.
Evening:
Make dinner.
2 oldest set table.
Clean up kitchen while kids put toys away.
Kids get pajamas on & sit down to eat when husband gets home.
After dinner, brush kids' teeth, prayers & story time.
Get laundry out of dryer & fold it into the basket.
Tomorrow the kids will put their clothes away (I will do baby's and husband's).
Kids go to bed & I have time with husband (we watch a rented movie, he works on his computer or I sew or write while we talk).
If there is any chore left undone (laundry folding, dishes, etc.), I work on it for 15 minutes only. The rest of my time until bed time is for my husband & for my exam of conscience or spiritual reading.
We say our night prayers before we go to sleep.
Occasionally I will take a bath or shower before bed, but usually I do that in the morning or during nap time.
It may seem like a lot to fit into a few hours, but it really works, if I keep myself on task. If i sit at my computer all morning (like I am doing now - LOL)I find I don't have time to do it all. But if I set my timer and only do computer for a set amount of time, I can do all I have to do, and I sometimes even have time for special things, like making special cookies with the kids for St. Lucy's day or decorate the dining table for someone's birthday.
I am long-winded today and I apologize! My point, through all these details, is that maybe your schedule is too regimented. Maybe having basic tasks to do between certain hours will help you, since you can't have the same schedule every day.
God bless!
Paula
It has really worked for me to block off 3 hours in the morning of school time. Each child has 1/2 hour of time with me to go over yesterday's work and be taught their lessons for that day. Then I assign all the independent work which must be completed by them by days end.
I work with my oldest (6th grade) first while my 2nd grader watches and plays with all the babies and little ones in another room. During this time my 4th grader does memory work. Then I send off 6th grader to do independent work and work with 4th grader. By this time 1 year old is napping and it's a little easier on the 2nd grader. They usually pop in a Barney tape. Then I work with 2nd grader. I then do preschool/kindergarten with the 5, 4 and 2 year olds. Sometimes I go over or need to take a break to take care of 3 month old, so I give myself 3 hours for this.
The children know that morning chores and grooming must be done by 9:00 when we say our morning prayers and start school. We go through until 12:00. Then, that's it for me for school for the day! I have 15 minutes of grading time scheduled in in the afternoon during "project time". Project time is when I take out my "To do" list and work on what needs it the most. Sometimes it's cleaning, sometimes it's cooking or baking, sometimes it is extra spiritual reading, sewing, etc.
I'd love to see other people's schedules! Mine is in Microsoft Word. Perhaps, Holly, you can figure out a way to get samples on the website? That would be helpful.
Leslie
Mom of 8 (ages 11 to almost 3 months)
At present, I am limited to the blog format, but have included a spot on Holly's Notebook for you all to share your rules.
Hopefully soon, I will be able to include schedule templates and samples in a more friendly format.
Post a Comment
<< Home