Help
With Your Rule
Dealing With Perfectionism
Dear Holly
I am finding my Mother's Rule a bit exhausting. I have my scheduled breaks and rest times, but the amount of work I am called to do everyday is really a lot, and to keep things in tip-top shape takes a lot of effort. The kids don't seem to share my views about tidiness and I find I have to make them do things over again a lot to get the house looking like I want it to. This all adds to my workload. Any ideas?
Labels: 5th P Provider
posted by Holly at 8:18 AM
1 Comments:
This sounds pretty familiar to me! When I first began my Mother's Rule, I wanted my house to look absolutely spotless too and worked very hard to keep it that way. But over time, I slowly began to understand that I was still putting more effort and focus into the house than I was to my family relationships. In effect, I still was placing the 5th P too high on my list.
For me, the order of the home, the 'decoration' of the home - that the pillows were straightened on the couch at every moment; or there was absolutely nothing on the floor of the kitchen ever; that every boot and shoe was in place with it's pair -- was taking too much of my attention. I realized this was a form of 'perfectionism' and something I had to bring reason and balance to.
So now, we still have our tidy up times before meals and bedtimes, but I have come to live with what in my mind is a little more 'sloppy' (although I think it's still objectively pretty tidy) during the hours when we are engaged in something else. That a child has made his bed and put his toys away suffices now - and I don't make him re-make it to get rid of every wrinkle. We have a 'family home' now, not a 'designer home'.
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